Scary Movie Challenge 2016 Part 2

Here’s the next bit from the Scary Movie Challenge to hold you until I get my first week of watching done. From simpler times, when all the terror in the world wouldn’t prevent me from watching 4 different versions of the same crappy movie.

 

027 10/11 Dementia 13 (1963) DVR 3.5/5   Francis Ford Coppola made his writing/directing debut with this one. I think. I know he did some stuff prior but I think this is his first as writer/director. Anyway, it’s basically a “Psycho” rip with a “Who Done It?” smashed into it. Which sounds bad, but is actually really well done considering it was produced on the cheap with Roger Corman. Coppola squeezes every penny out of the budget, the film has style and totally works.

028 10/11 Nekromantik 2 (1991) Blu-ray 3/5   Follow up to the first one find Rob’s corpse being stolen by a Monica, another necrophile. She ends up meeting Mark, a voice over actor for porn films, and gets torn between him and the corpse. So it’s really a love story. This one is much more polished than the first film, but I found it a little draggy in parts, and plain silly in others. When you have two characters go to a movie, then show a bunch of the movie they are watching, it seems like filler. That said, Buttgereit is making a legitimate film that manages to rise above its exploitation aspects.

029 10/12 The Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959) DVR 2/5   Teenagers have a hot rod club (played by the “Hot Rod Gang” which is a shitty rip-off of the Bowery Boys, only a bunch of privileged pricks instead of poverty row scamps.) and like to dance to one song. There’s no ghost, there’s no dragstrip, there’s only one shown drag race. The only cool thing is the re-use of monster costumes from other AIP movies and the tall girl with glasses.

030 10/13 The Beast With A Million Eyes (1955) DVR 2/5   A less ambitious “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” type thing, with an invisible invader trying to control a ranch family. For a no-budget 50’s horror it’s not the worst thing you will see, it just never really gets going and plods along. Also: there’s no “Beast With A Million Eyes”. Most notable for being one of if not the first film Roger Corman had a hand at directing.

031 10/13 Schramm (1993) Blu-ray 2.5/5   The final film in the “SEX MURDER ART: THE FILMS OF JORG BUTTGEREIT”, this one left me flat. It’s got a great premise: the life of a serial killer as glimpsed in his final moments alive. The problem is that it’s missing the disturbing gore found in Buttgereit’s other films like “Nekromantik”, and has nothing to fill the space. So it just kind flops out and doesn’t do much. Maybe I had high expectations thinking this would be the most messed up film of them all.

032 10/14 Bone Tomahawk (2015) Blu-ray 4/5   Kurt Russell leads this one, a weird western about a group of men searching for townsfolk that have been taken by natives. It plays like “The Searchers” but with lots of spook. If it doesn’t sound like a horror, trust me, it is. Recommended, I loved this one.

033 10/14 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986) Blu-ray 5/5   One of the greatest movies ever made.

034 10/15 Operation: Titian (1963) Blu-ray 2/5   A murder mystery based around a copy of a Titian painting as opposed to a horror. How this ends up being a film called “Blood Bath” is beyond me. Anyway, this one feels longer than the run time. Pretty much says it all, eh?

035 10/15 Shocker (1989) Blu-ray 3/5   No one is going to mistake this one as one of Wes Craven’s best but I’ve always liked it. Mitch Pileggi eats the scenery like there’s no tomorrow as the killer, and the idea of an electricity based killer is fun. It has a few pacing issues, but on the whole it works.

036 10/15 Swamp Thing (1982) Blu-ray 3/5   As an adaptation of the comic book it’s pretty terrible. As a monster movie is pretty fun. Not the best film Craven ever made, but not a bad time either. Fun revisiting this one, I didn’t realize that David Hess (from Cravens infamous “Last House on the Left”) had a role in this one. That said, seek out the Alan Moore run on Swamp Thing if you want the real deal.

037 10/15 Thundercrack! (1975) Blu-ray 3.5/5   This one is an underground horror porno film that is so earnest it has to be played for laughs. It’s certainly original. Plays like a John Waters film in many ways, you get the feeling that the filmmakers thought this was their last chance to make their dream project. A dream project where people get stranded as a old dark house in a rainstorm, have bizarre sexual experiences, a guy marries an ape and it all invokes “Gone With The Wind”. Genuinely completely out to lunch, this one won’t be for everyone but if you have an appetite for strange this one should fill you up. UPDATE: More I think about this one, the more I love it. 

038 10/16 Portrait Of Terror (1965) Blu-ray 2.5/5   The first re-cut of “Operation: Titian” became this one. It’s still not much of a horror film but it is better than the first cut. That said, it’s still not very good.

039 10/16 It (1990) Blu-ray 3/5   I remember watching this when it originally aired and being disappointed. Probably due to having the book fresh in my mind. The book continues to be one of my all time favourites. I liked it more this time around. The first half works and Tim Curry is fantastic as Pennywise. The second half with the adults kind of falls apart in comparison, partly due to the TV budget. I’ll put money down that this one will be better than the new theatrical version coming out, opinion based on that one image of the clown they released.

040 10/16 Phantom of the Opera (1989) Blu-ray 2.5/5   I’m positive I saw this one back in the day but I had zero memory of it when watching it. I think I might of had this one confused with “Phantom of the Mall.” Anyway it’s not very good with it’s mostly straight retelling of the story with some past lives time travel nonsense thrown in. I watched this due to watching Wes Craven films earlier and thinking I should watch “Nightmare on Elm Street” but not feeling like it so I spun this one since it had Robert Englund in it. Should of stuck with Nightmare.

041 10/17 Blood Bath (1966) Blu-ray 3/5   The third version of “Operation: Titian” drops all talk of Titian and adds Sid Haig, beatniks and a vampire. Completely unrecognizable compared to the other two versions, Jack Hill did a pretty great job hacking this thing together.

042 10/17 The Hills Have Eyes (1977) Blu-ray 4/5   Wes Craven’s follow up film after the classic “Last House on the Left” (not counting the porno “Fireworks Woman”) might not be as grueling but it still completely works. The film is an examination of class warfare, with city folk getting attacked by desert mountain folk. It’s good, moves quickly and best of all, plays like a bonkers Rin-Tin-Tin movie.

043 10/17 The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009) Blu-ray 4/5   Revisited this one since I have the sequels to watch for the first time. Some hate this one, I think it’s a modern classic. It completely delivers on the premise of a human centipede. Maybe it’s a case of the film shouldn’t be watchable at all with such a ridiculous premise. Instead, you find yourself caught up in the craziness and end up genuinely caring about the centipede.

044 10/17 The Brood (1979) Blu-ray 3.5/5   Cronenberg goes for the psychological with this one starring Oliver Reed as a doctor who’s analysis treatments result in physical manifestations. I had completely forgotten how messed up this one gets in the latter half, having first watched it during the 2007 challenge. Good stuff.

045 10/17 The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (2011) Blu-ray 3.5/5   I’m in the minority with this one since I actually really liked it. It’s completely different from the first one. The first film is closer to a modern day monster movie. This one is basically “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” only Henry is into arts and craft centipede projects. Gorgeous in black and white, it’s only black and white for self censorship. The colour version on the blu-ray is one of the most relentlessly gory films I’ve seen. This one won’t be for everyone, but it works and delivers on it’s premise which is all I ask for from a film like this.

046 10/18 Track of the Vampire (1966) Blu-ray 2.5/5   A re-cut of the Jack Hill cut of “Blood Bath”. I think. Who the fuck knows anymore. Watch “Blood Bath” and forget about these other versions. UPDATE: The documentary in this set going through the history of all these versions is better than any of the final movies! A must watch for filmmaking fans!

047 10/18 The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence (2015) Blu-ray 3/5   This one goes for a lighter tone and just doesn’t work. Main problem is it plays it mostly safe in comparison to the previous two and can’t maintain the premise of creating a massive human centipede as a prison population solution. It’s neat that they go full meta by bringing back the stars from the previous two and the director starring as himself, but it’s not enough.

048 10/18 Eyes Without A Face (1960) Blu-ray 3.5/5   The groundbreaking French horror classic holds up just fine. A girls face is destroyed in a car crash so her surgeon father snatches girls to replace it. It plays much more classy than that description, and it’s surprisingly graphic, especially for 1960.

049 10/18 The Stuff (1985) Blu-ray 4/5   I hadn’t seen this one since the VHS days and it’s nice to see it holds up just fine today. A bonkers mash-up of “The Blob” with “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” about an alien dessert. It should be terrible, but they pull it off. Or maybe it is terrible and I just don’t care? (Nah, it’s rad.)

050 10/19 The Night Evelyn Came Out Of The Grave (1971) Blu-ray 3.5/5   Pretty good Italian horror. Some guy is having a break down after his wife dies and starts finding duplicate women to abuse. Film stays on course and has enough mystery to keep you invested.

051 10/19 The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972) Blu-ray 3.5/5   Another solid Italian horror. This one deals with a family curse that has come around on the 100 year mark. Like the previous film this one moves steadily and has a enough mystery to hold your interest.

052 10/19 Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988) Blu 3/5   I actually actively avoided this one for years, due to liking the original and thinking this one would be total garbage. It’s not the greatest film ever made, but it’s not total garbage either. It ends up being a fun horror comedy. Worth it just to watch George Clooney give a masterclass in product placement.

053 10/19 Crimes of Passion (1984) Blue 3.5/5   This one plays more like a 1930’s pre-code melodrama than the horror/thriller I thought it was going to be after all these years, but it’s creepy enough for me to count. Kathleen Turner is great as the hooker not necessarily with a heart of gold and Anthony Perkins steals every scene he’s in as a twisted street preacher trying to save her soul. What is more interesting though it that the film is really an examination of sex, love and the use of each as a weapon by couples in a relationship. Interesting stuff, and through the bonkers-eyes of Ken Russell it’s worth a viewing.

Ah, such fond memories! Will I ever find my tall girl in glasses? Will I ever be a part of a human centipede?

Who knows? 2017 is wide open folks. Let’s stay positive!

r

Movie A Day! 408-421 – “The End?”

We made it to 2015. 2014 was one of the worst years I’ve had. Not going to lie. Starting 2015 in a rage after spending new years eve with extended family. Such selfishness abounds, it’s gross. Let’s all hope the rest of the year chills the fuck out.

Sorry, this one’s going to be a bit lengthy since I watched a bunch to end the year, and I have to total up the whole month. Straight to the movies!

408 12-28 The Killer Elite (1975) 3.5/5

James Caan and Robert Duvall star in this Sam Peckinpah actioner about a couple of CIA hitmen that come to odds with each other. This one seems to get panned a bit, but I really enjoyed it. There’s an extended sequence of martial arts training that is actually quite neat, and compliment the more briskly paced action bits of the latter half. Caan and Duvall are both good and the massive set piece ninja attack at the end is hilariously fun. So it may be lesser Peckinpah compared to his classics, but it’s still Peckinpah and worth a watch.

409 12-29 The Video Game Years 1977 (2012) 3/5
410 12-29 The Video Game Years 1978 (2012) 3/5
411 12-29 The Video Game Years 1979 (2012) 3/5
These are all available online via RetrowareTV youtube. Not the most studious history of video games that you will find, but a fun, nerdy one all the same. I get a pretty good nostalgia kick watching these since I’m ancient enough to have not only been around to play, but actually own a lot of the different machines and games on display.

412 12-29 The Ultimate Pleasure (1977) 2.5/5
Another Bonkers adult feature from Carlos Tobalina (JUNGLE BLUE). This one seems more straight plotwise, a wife is getting burned out and not wanting sex, so while her hubby goes to vegas to bang hookers for relief, she goes to a clinic. Then it takes a swerve into lala land where it becomes completely unclear as to if it’s actually happening or is all part of the drug induced therapy she is having. Then it takes another swerve into the weird with a massive dose of anti-consumerism rhetoric. Tobalina seems completely incapable of being coherent, which added to his piss poor directing where shots are out of focus, boom mikes are seen, and best of all, a crew member enters the frame to pull some wire out of the shot while a couple starts to get busy, this movie should be horrible. Yet, despite or because of all this, with the addition of a great cast of seventies adult stars like Annette Haven, Candida Royalle and John Holmes, it still manages to be entertaining.

413 12-30 The Video Game Years 1980 (2012) 3/5
414 12-30 The Video Game Years 1981 (2013) 3/5
415 12-30 The Video Game Years 1982 (2013) 3/5
416 12-30 The Video Game Years 1983 (2014) 3/5
Yeah, I really got hooked on watching these. Now I’m caught up since I stumbled on the series with the 1984 entry.

417 12-30 Zatoichi’s Conspiracy (1973) 4.5/5
So this is it, the last of the original Zatoichi films. It was a good one too, with Zatoichi returning to his home village to discover that a childhood friend is screwing over the town to profit on his own. Katsu is perfect as Zatoichi at this point, managing to be lovable and terrifying within the same shot. This set from Criterion is easily one of the finest purchases I have made in the hobby, and is highly recommended.

418 12-30 Loony Tunes Platinum Collection Vol 2 (2012) 5/5
This is a 3 disc set of blu-rays featuring hi-def remasters of Looney Tunes cartoons that I’ve been watching on and off since September or so. To say it’s mamoth is an understatement. The first two discs are all Looney Tunes with extras, covering fifty shorts each. Disc three though is the really good stuff. You get two documentaries on Tex Avery, a collection of cartoons done by Friz Freleng for MGM, and best of all, eleven cartoons done by Tex for MGM that manage to be about 100% more laugh out loud funny than the previous two discs. Why there isn’t a definitive Tex Avery collection out by now is beyond me. Add in some PRIVATE SNAFU toon’s made for the army, and dozens more bonuses and this set is fantastic and a must own for classic cartoon fans. My only nit pick is that it repeats cartoons from the Golden Collection DVD series, disc three isn’t in hi-def, and volume 3 is going to be the last volume since Warners bailed on the series, the assholes.

419 12-31 Almost True: The Noble Art of Forgery (1997) 2.5/5
420 12-31 Paradise Regained – The Making of Phantom of the Paradise 3.5/5
I watched the special features on a couple of discs I watched earlier in the year. ALMOST TRUE is from the fantastic Criterion release of Orson Welles’ F IS FOR FAKE that I loved so hard last month. It’s a more typical profile on Elmyr de Hory, the art forger covered in F. the rest of the features on the disc are equally good, a great interview with Welles on Tom Snydor, a profile on Clifford Erving on 60 Minutes, and a second doc on Welle’s that I still have to watch.

PARADISE is the main doc that comes with the Scream Factory release of PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, and along with all the additional interviews and outtakes included, it tells you everything you would want to know about the film, and is entertaining too.

421 12-31 Dick Clarks New Years Rockin’ Eve Live 2015 (2014) 2.5/5
not much to say, pop stars since and a ball drops. It ends up that I like Taylor Swift now, and Charli XCX is the singer I liked on the AMA’s earlier in the month that I thought was a band called Crystal Head. This one get’s a half point knocked off for having crazy asshole Jenny McCarthy as a co-host.

Right, there it all is. I warned you it would be long! Now, let’s see my totals for the month:

45 Watched, 37 First Timers, 0 Theaters

Surprisingly big month! Lot’s of hour long things though to balance out the films so I guess that’s why it added up. Plus it’s cold out and I don’t like to leave the house. Let’s compare to last December:

33 Watched, 32 First Timers, 0 Theaters

Huh, this I think only the second month that I watched more than I did in 2013. Neat.

Now for the scary part, the year end numbers. 2014:

399 Watched, 335 First Timers, 1 In Theaters

I managed to watch more than a movie a day! It was looking a bit dodgy early on, but I made it. Yay me. 2013:

505 Watched, 435 First Timers, 15 In Theaters

Now there’s some movie watching for you! I used to have regular movie nights with friends where we would power through 4 or so movies once a week. Ah, those were the days. Funny thing, the theater experience has gotten so annoying with pre-sold tickets and cell phones that I don’t really miss it. This year we saw a new David Fincher film come out, GONE GIRL, as it was the only film of his I missed in the theaters. Between the experience and finding myself less and less interested in the franchise blockbusters, who knows how often I’ll bother to go in 2015.

My favourites of the year:

THE PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE – The movie is just such a hoot with great music. Well worth a spin

ZATOICHI THE BLIND SWORDSMAN – Obviously the massive Criterion boxset was going to be oo here.

THE ART OF KILLING – Disturbing documentaries are the best.

THE SWIMMER – Grindhouse releasing went odd and put out a Burt Lancaster film that ended up being the lost Twilight Zone episode that should of been.

BREAKING BAD – I’ll watch it all again, nuff said.

THE ERNIE KOVACS COLLECTION – The dawn of television comedy that beats most of what’s aired today.

ACE IN THE HOLE – A film about the media that ended up being prophecy.

RAW FORCE – the gonzo zombie, kung-fu, Hitler movie from Vinegar Syndrome. Actually, Vinegar Syndrome as a whole was a favourite, treating porno, sexploitation, exploitation and underground arthouse titles with the type of love the major studios don’t give their Alfred Hitchcock titles.

F FOR FAKE – I wont talk about this one a third time, I loved it but I can see it annoying the hell out of people.

Well, that’s about it. Maybe I’ll continue, maybe I wont. If I do continue, I might change it up a bit so it’s less time consuming to compile. We’ll all have to see.

Thank you to those who stuck around through my past year of movies, your reading and comments were and are appreciated!

The End.

Movie A Day!:311-320 – Off the Wagon

Sorry gang, I fell way behind on my updates for the first time this year. I was supposed to be off work this week, but had to go in Monday and Tuesday to cover for a co-worker. Tuesday afternoon, my flu like poops came back. I’ve now had near constant diarrhea for 7 odd days. It’s the worst! Anyway, I’ll be posting a bunch to get caught up since with the flu, I watch even more movies.

311 10-20 Up From The Depths (1979) 1.5/5
I’m fine with a “Jaws” knock-off, provided it’s good. This one was terrible in every way. A weird shark like fish has shown up of the coast of a Hawaiian resort and is attacking people. So it’s Jaws, only a completely garbage version with terrible acting, effects and a weird dubbed soundtrack. The plot can’t decide if it wants to go the Jaws scary route, or the fun Piranha route so it just fails miserably. This is grade z level Corman stuff, and sadly not fun in any way.

312 10-20 Demon of Paradise (1987) 2.5/5
Directed by Cirio H. Santiago so you know what you’re getting into. Fishermen illegally using dynamite awaken a lizard man then proceeds to attack a resort. Not the greatest, but it’s light years better then Under From The Depths that it shares a DVD with. It’s from 1987 but the look of the film leads me to think it sat on a shelf for a while.

313 10-21 Crawlspace (1986) 3/5
Klaus Kinski stars as a nutty doctor son of a nazi war criminal who has taken to being a landlord who has tricked out his apartment building so he can crawl around spying on the women tenants and kill them. It’s pretty bonkers stuff that really doesn’t make any sense. Kinski is good in it though and manages to hold the thing together despite how ridiculous it gets. The scream factory blu-ray has short film about working with Kinski by the films director, “Please, kill Mr. Kinski” that it pretty great stuff too.

314 10-21 You’re Next (2011) 3/5
This one is a home invasion movie, and everything about it made it look like a direct rip of “The Strangers.” So it’s nice that they twisted things up a bit. Not a whole lot, but enough that I think this one is the better movie. Anyway, a family is having a big get together in the woods and some killers show up. Not the most original thing in the world, but it’s good enough despite things getting a bit Ewok in the last third.

315 10-21 Dracula’s Daughter (1936) 4/5
The first sequel to the classic film that of course doesn’t star Bela Lugosi. It’s still pretty good film on it’s own right that makes the right choice in setting it’s own pace instead of trying to copy the original. Dracula’s daughter has shown up and is kind of sympathetic in that she doesn’t really want to be a vampire. It’s primarily known for a scene that supposedly has lesbian overtones but I don’t really see it. It’s no Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 by any means. Still, worth checking out.

316 10-22 The Amazing Transparent Man (1960) 2/5
The most amazing thing about this run of the mill programmer is legendary monster maker Jack Pierce did the make-up. When you have the man responsible for creating Frankenstein’s monster and the Wolf Man, and have the only cool effects being invisibility, you failed. Nothing about this is amazing, so nuff said.

317 10-22 The Beast Within (1982) 3/5
I might be rating it higher than it deserves. I figured it was basically “Teen Wolf” done straight based on the cover, and could not have been more wrong. A woman is raped by a weird monster, and 17 years later her son from the rape is having issues with an unknown illness. This one gets pretty nasty and goopy, on top of the rather nasty plot. It manages to mostly work too. Not the greatest film you will watch in the challenge, but a good enough one.

318 10-22 Reptilicus (1961) 2/5
Godzilla was a big hit, so everyone wanted in with their own monster movie. This one is Denmarks submission. A copper miner finds bits of meat buried, the regenerate into a giant, acid goo spitting snake monster thing that rampages over Copenhagen. based on a weird section before the monster mayhem that plays like a travelogue to visit Copenhagen, I’m pretty sure this one was actually produced by the country. The monster is painfully bad in execution, which of course helps make it fun to watch.

319 10-23 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) 5/5
Yup, this one is still one of the all time great films. I don’t have much to say since so much has been written. If you haven’t seen it, see it.

320 10-23 Deadly Eyes (1982) 2.5/5
Contaminated grain infects and causes rats to mutate. One of the goofiest Canadian cheapies you’re likely to see is still pretty fun since the giant rats are dachshunds in costume. Scatman Crothers slums it for a couple of scenes and the movie is committed enough to it’s bonkers plot that it works.

Probably back tomorrow to play more catch up! Share it if you enjoy it!

Movie A Day!: 300-310 – More Milestones

I hit film 300, and I wanted to cheat so that it was the awesome “Scanners” instead of the not as good “Visiting Hours.” Sadly, I’m too honest. 😦

300 10-17 Visiting Hours (1982) 3/5
This is one of those films that has stuck in my brain as being one of the scariest, greatest horrors ever made. The only reason is due to my parents not letting me watch it after “MY BLOODY VALENTINE” gave me nightmares back in the early 80’s. It’s pretty run of the mill stuff. An outspoken news woman ticks off a psycho misogynist who gets obsessed with killing her. The best part of the film is Michael Ironside as the killer, he genuinely seems like a brutal creep as the psycho, and the film turns the page on the typical slasher film by spending quite a bit of time with him instead of the victims. Otherwise, it’s nothing special, not even William Shatner in a bit part as the TV producer.

301 10-17 Scanners (1981) 4/5
This is one I hadn’t seen since it’s VHS debut in the 80’s, and it’s great that it holds up amazingly well. Telepathic “Scanners” are fighting for control, to possibly rule the world. The better subtext is the military industrialization of people as technology seems light years ahead of it’s time in our current world. Patrick McGoohan in a supporting role is fantastic as always, and it’s got heads exploding for the gore hounds. Pretty near a perfect picture, and David Cronenberg would move on from this one by getting even better.

302 10-18 Scanners II: The New Order (1991) 2/5
Ten years after the first film, a cop is trying to create a Scanner squad so he can take over the city. This one is Canadian in the worst way, and just annoys the shit out of you. All the neat stuff in the original is completely ignored in order to show how hard it is to be a Scanner, and to make heads explode. A garbage sequel. Good thing there’s a third one!

303 10-18 Scanners III: Who Gives a Shit (1991) 1.5/5
Fuck this movie.

304 10-18 Antiviral (2012) 3.5/5
David Cronenberg’s kid Brandon makes his big debut with this one. A near future tale in which people aren’t satisfied with just watching their favourite celebrities, they want to feel like them by being infected by their diseases. It’s a messed up tale, and Brandon does a hell of a job with it. A total weird, creep fest that’s worth checking out.

305 10-18 Rabid (1977) 4/5
Another Cronenberg classic. A woman gets experimental plastic surgery that becomes parasitic, causing her to need to feast on human blood. It’s also contagious, so she is patient zero for a pandemic. Really creepy to rewatch with the current Ebola situation, this one pulls no punches and is just as effective today. Porn star Marilyn Chambers in her non-porn debut does a pretty good job, too.

306 10-18 Driller (1984) 3/5
This one is a porn spoof of Michael Jacksons “Thriller”, and man if only. The first 30 minutes is some of the greatest camp you will see, with 2 big dance numbers to offset some ridiculous sex scenes. It’s as perfect a spoof of a video as you could possible want. Sadly it falls apart after that with most of the middle being weird, camp and dull sex scenes, until the final 20 minutes that see’s the return of the “Pop Star” to finish the film off with more dancing and singing. Actual broadway style singing and dancing to a cliche 80’s beat. So as a campy 80’s memento, it’s pure gold. As a porno, it’s terrible, even by porn standards. But if you like the ridiculous, think the insane 80’s dance number from “Night Train to Terror” but with worse music and more camp, dare I say fey dancing, mixed with terrible porn scenes, there’s a lot to like. I’m surprised this doesn’t have more cult status.

307 10-19 The Victim (2011) 2.5/5
Michael Biehn directed this one. He was going for a “Grindhouse” type vibe, but he failed completely. So what you get is a not very good thriller about crooked cops out in the woods partying who accidentally kill a stripper and try to cover it up. Biehn gets mixed up in it while trying to save the stripper who escaped. It’s just never gets interesting, and isn’t trashy enough to be fun like the “Machete” type films that play as a homage to the seventies.

308 10-19 Chained (2012) 3.5/5
A killer snatches a woman and her 9 year old kid, and ends up keeping the kid alive to be his housekeeper. To say much more than that would ruin it. Incredibly dark film by Jennifer Lynch, it could have fallen apart at anytime but she keeps the idea moving forward in some surprising and complex ways. Vincent D’Onofrio is great and disturbing as the kidnapper.

309 10-19 The Invisible Ray (1936) 3.5/5

This one features Boris Karloff as a mad scientist, and Bela Lugosi as the good guy scientist. So it’s another rare film where Lugosi is a good guy. Karloff uses a ray to scan a beam from Andromeda that shows where a meteorite struck Africa 200,000 years in the past. They all go off in search, Karloff gets assy, finds the meteorite and is instantly poisoned by it so that he gets a death touch. Karloff gets Lugosi, who is a master of astro-chemistry and is experimenting on “creatures” (black kids, in the gross casual racism of the time), and he manages to find a cure so that Karloff can manage the death touch and not be turned to dust. So while Karloff is busy using radium X from the meteorite to melt mountains, Lugosi is using it to cure all the ails of mankind. It doesn’t end well. This was one of those old films that is so completely horseshit as far as plot goes, that it manages to be quite fun. It’s another Universal Horror that that features a leading love interest dude who is a total garbage leading man that you just wish would be killed. Any film that starts with a placard explaining that all of scientific innovations were once dreams of “mad men” is going to be bonkers in a good way, and this one holds up the theory.

310 10-19 The Battery (2012) 3.5/5

This one was a nice play on the zombie type film. In fact, as far zombie films go, this one probably is a poor one with it’s lack of gore and all the other things that typically make up a zombie film. Instead it’s more of a character study of two men, baseball teammates but not really friends, dealing with the zombie apocalypse. By not relying on zombie film tropes and instead relying on character, it actually handles this stuff better than THE WALKING DEAD has in it’s four seasons of television. Being a film from a first time director, he can’t quite keep it together the whole time, and as good as the end is, it’s starts to flag a bit. Still well worth a watch though. (I had to look it up.a “Battery” is the team of a pitcher with his catcher in Baseball. So that’s were the title come from. Ugh sports.)

Right, that’s it for today. I might see you all on Wednesday for Star Who? We’ll see! Remember to share with your friends, etc, if you so desire.

Movie A Day! 290-299 – “Love, death. Hate, living”

I got in a bunch more films through out the week, so let’s recap them! Some pleasant surprises, and some stinkers. It’s wouldn’t be a scary movie challenge without the stinkers.

290 10-13 Motel Hell (1980) 3/5
This cult classic horror comedy could have been a campy mess. They thankfully play it pretty straight, so it ends up working pretty good as both a satire and horror. Farmer Vincent is planting people in his secret garden before turning them into his famous smoked meat. It could have been incredibly dark, but they keep the tone perfect so it’s fun. I’m surprised this one hasn’t gotten the remake treatment.

291 10-13 The Horror Show (1989) 3/5
This one is about a cop, played by the always excellent Lance Henrikson, who is haunted by a serial killer that killed his partner. When the killer is executed via electric chair, it ends up that he’s not dead, but still able to attack Lances family. I figured this one was a Sean S. Cunningham’s (Friday the 13th) response to Wes Cravens (Nightmare on Elm Street) similarly themed SHOCKER, but they actually came out the same year. I liked Shocker, but I haven’t seen it in ages and I think this one is the better film. Some really great effects by KNB and Jason himself, Kane Hodder does a bunch of stunts. Not a bad blind buy at anyrate, the Scream Factory blu-ray is well done.

292 10-13 Carrie (2013) 3/5
Right out of the gate, it’s a step down from the De Palma film. This is to be expected. It hits all the plot points, tries to add it’s own thing for the 2013 crowd and mostly succeeds. The reason, and the only reason, as to why this one is worth checking out is Julianne Moore and Chloe Grace Moretz. Moore has always been a fantastic actor, and she is perfect as the religious nutzo mum of Carrie. Moretz is just as good in the lead. I don;t know how old she is now, but if she keeps on going the way she is, she is easily going to become a legendary, all time great actor. She’s pretty good as mousy Carrie White, but when the shit goes down, and shit does go down in a great fashion she is fantastic in using body language to emphasize the TK force. IT’s cool as hell, and worth the price of admission.

293 10-13 Die, Monster, Die! (1965) 2.5/5
I really wanted to like this one more. AIP were obviously channeling Corman’s Poe pictures with this colour extravaganza. It looks amazing, with surreal bright colours actually enhancing the gothic suspense. It’s got Boris Karloff being all Karloff and great, a neat plot with Karloff experimenting with a weird material that is causing mutations. It’s just flat all around and never really gets going. Which is a shame since production value wise, it’s a gorgeous film looking great on the Scream Factory blu-ray.

294 10-14 The Bride Of Frankenstein (1935) 5/5
This one is arguably the greatest of the first wave of Universal Monster movies. I’ve always preferred the first Frankenstein, but that might of changed with this revisit. It really is a perfect movie. There’s genuine humour, genuine scares and every campy moment, and with James Whale you will get some campy moments, there is an incredibly poignant and emotional moment. The monster moves from the newborn terror of the first film to miss-understood youth in this one, and Karloff is absolutely brilliant in the way he acts out humanity and emotion through the make-up. Plus, it made me tear up a bit again. So really, watch the first two Frankenstein films already!

295 10-14 The Nesting (1981) 2.5/5
This one is about an agoraphobic woman author who rents an isolated house in order to get some writing done. The house is spooky. The problem with this one is that by 1981 the slasher film was king as far as horror goes, so this one feels really dated. It’s also awkward since there’s a bit of business in it that only seems to be there so that it has a slasher type kill. Anyway, enough said of this one. It’s not the worst thing you’ll see, but the pacing problems means it will feel longer than it is.

296 10-15 Werewolf of London (1935) 4/5
This one isn’t up to the standards of the true classics of Universal Horror, but I’ve always enjoyed it. A scientist looking for a rare flower in Tibet gets attacked by a werewolf. Ends up that the flower is the only potential cure, so he brings all his troubles back to England. The only real problem holding this one back is it’s got an awkward tone where it’s aping the humour and suspense of a James Whale picture, but fails at it. That said, the minimalistic wolfman makeup is pretty great, and Henry Hull does a pretty good job as the title wolf.

297 10-15 Bad Dreams (1988) 2.5/5
A hippie commune sacrifices itself with fire, and a little girl survives but is in a coma. She wakes up 15 years later and is haunted in her dreams by the old cult leader. So it’s pretty much a rip-off of Nightmare on Elm Street. There’s nothing wrong with it, the story is neat, there’s some okay twists and turns. It’s just not Nightmare on Elm Street and never really gets good or exceptional enough to stand up on it’s own.

298 10-16 Mardi Gras Massacre (1978) 2.5/5
Another notorious film from the dreaded “Video Nasties” list that is more bad than good. At least it’s fun bad. A cultist is killing “evil” hookers during Mardi Gras. It’s laughably bad, he basically goes to strip clubs and asks to see the most evil girl, then takes them back to his place to sacrifice. the sacrifices are corny, but incredibly over the top in a cheap gore way which is why it made the nasties list. The tough cop who falls for a hooker is the icing on the “so bad it’s good” cake. Sleazy grindhouse fare at it’s finest, though really cheap at it’s seams, even for exploitation.

299 10-16 The Raven (1935) 4/5
Much like THE BLACK CAT, this one stars Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff, and is named after an Edgar Allan Poe story/poem without really having anything to do with the source material. Lugosi plays a prized surgeon obsessed with Poe, to the point that he has recreated many of the torture devices found on Poe’s stories in his home. After falling for a society girl who’s life he has saved, Lugosi manipulates criminal Karloff into doing his bidding after the girls father forbids Lugosi from pursuing her. Writing all this makes me realize just how convoluted this fucking movie is! Jesus! I won’t go on since I don’t want to spoil plot points, I will just say this one was really good and Lugosi is a total bastard in it, which means it’s quite a lot of fun. Special points to Lester Mathews for playing the boyfriend who is easily the biggest pussy and waste of space to be found in a Universal Horror film. He makes the always annoying David Manners look like Clint Eastwood in comparison.

There it is! Another week down. I’ll probably watch another ton of movies over the weekend since I currently have no real plans to speak of. I ask you at this time, dear readers, to please subscribe to the blog, or add it to your readers. After this one I will no longer be pushing it out on social media so if you’re getting cues to read it from Facebook or Twitter, that wont be happening anymore.

the end.

Movie A Day!: 273-281 – “One Blow! The Deathblow!”

Phew, got in a bunch more movies this week. Being as there is a long weekend in Canada this weekend, I figured I’d update today so as not to get this list to out of hand. All types of scary for all types of people in this one!

273 10-06 Prom Night (1980) 3.5/5
274 10-06 The Horrors of Hamilton High: The Making of Prom Night (2014) 3/5
Sat down to the recent blu-ray from Synapse films. I don’t think I’ve seen this one since the VHS days, and I remember not thinking much of it. I really enjoyed this revisit. It takes a while to really get going, but it still works just fine. And it’s a Canadian disco classic. I’m wondering if I’m getting more out of these movies now that they are being restored and presented properly? It’s easy to write them off as crap when they look like hell on some murky, cropped VHS compared to seeing them presented properly like they are now. Anyway, I’ve written enough to say it’s not the worst slasher you’ll ever see, and much better than the remake from a few years back. Plus it has Jamie Lee Curtis, the unlikely horror icon, disco dancing so there you go.

I watched the making of and other special features so I’m counting them too. They’re all good.

275 10-06 The Old Dark House (1932) 4.5/5
During a terrible storm, travelers take shelter in a creepy old house whose inhabitants may be worse that the weather. Karloff returns as a new kind of mute monster with James Whale (Frankenstein) directing and it’s a real joy. It has to be one of the first horror comedies, and Whale is in complete command of the show, balancing genuine suspense with a campy humour that is pretty irresistible. Plus you get Charles Laughton being a scouser instead of the usual posh aristocrat he usually plays. I just wish we could get a proper restoration of this one on home video since the Kino DVD uses a print that is in terrible shape. The film deserves better.

276 10-07 The Final Terror (1983) 3.5/5
Let’s get it out of the way; this one is flat out a total rip-off of FRIDAY THE 13TH. That said, it’s a good one. Better than most of the actual FRIDAY THE 13th series. Instead of going full gore slasher, it goes the more thriller route and manages to mostly work. It’s a shame most of the original materials for this is lost since parts of the Scream Factory blu-ray look really good, and it the overall look of the film is a step up from what you usually see. On top of that, it’s pretty great seeing future stars Daryl Hannah and Joe Pantoliano in getting their start. Joe in particular steals the show. Not only that, it had the guy who played the mean dad in Twisted Sisters video “We’re Not Gonna Take It” which will forever be burned in my brain from my misspent youth! So I should probably give it four stars just for that, but I wont.

277 10-08 Final Exam (1981) 3/5
This one I found odd. It’s such a mundane, unimaginative, run of the mill slasher that it actually becomes it’s own thing instead of being terrible like it should be. Aside from the opening, the first half plays more like a teen comedy that was so popular for the era. The killer is completely motiveless and as dull as everything else, which makes him kind of cool? I have no idea why I didn’t find this one boring since nothing in it elevates it. Weird.

278 10-08 The Mummy (1932) 5/5
Another Universal Horror classic. Some might be put off by it’s slow, deliberate pace but I’ve always loved this one. Karloff is great, and the film is just so weird and perfectly directed that I never tire of it. Karl Freund was a genius, who would end up shooting the original I LOVE LUCY shows!

279 10-09 Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972) 3/5
Another free download from the Vinegar Syndrome site. This one features cult icon Mary Woronov and B-Movie legend John Carradine. Basic story is a family house that had been used as a mental asylum has been empty for twenty years, and now that the current owner is interested in selling it, murders are taking place. The title on the print from the VS site is “Deathhouse”, so that should give you some idea. It has some pacing problems, but director Theodore Gershuny manages to mostly pull it off. The most striking thing is an incredibly graphic murder scene that sort of came out of nowhere, especially since you kind of expect it to be a bit cheap an inept. Anyway, not the worse thing you’ll see, but Gersuny’s next film “Sugar Cookies” also available from VS, is a much better picture, and Woronov is much better in it.

280 10-09 Raw Force (1982) 4/5
Like near constant nude girls? Zombies? Kung Fu fights? Zombie Ninjas? Over the top cheap gore? Vic Diaz? This ones for you! A Hitler look alike is trading kidnapped girls to the monks of Warrior Island in exchange for Jade, and a pleasure cruise featuring a bunch of martial artists get mixed up with them. I’m giving it 4 out of 5 because it’s exactly as awesome as it sounds, which means that if the above sounds terrible to you, you probably won’t like this one. In a perfect world, the blu-ray by Vinegar Syndrome would win Best Release of 2014 since films like this don’t usually come with the love and care VS put into it.

281 10-09 The Invisible Man (1933) 5/5
Another classic and iconic Universal Monsters film that holds up just fine. Claude Rains is fantastic in the lead. The effects still are impressive as hell. James Whale keeps everything moving at a good pace that perfectly balances humour and horror and you get Una O’Connor wailing her head off. I have no idea how many times I have seen this one, and I’m still not tired of it.

In case you can’t tell, I love those old Universal Horror movies! Look how beautiful the poster art is! Why is poster art so shit now? Is it photoshop or laziness? Anyway, watch all the Universal Horror you can.

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Movie A Day! : 266-272 “Hymm-Humming Hell Cat!”

I think this is my fiftieth blog on this site. I feel like I should post something more personal than my silly movie lists, but I just don’t feel like it. feel free to look back on a previous Broken Record post, I doubt anything has changed.

Here’s the rest of the movies I watched last week, all scary ones so read this one with the lights on.

266 10-04 Evil Come Evil Go (1972) 3/5
This one is a Walt Davis film about a religious fanatic woman that is travelling around picking up guys and killing them while they have sex. Because sex is bad, ok? It’s actually quite fun, with Cleo O’hara in the lead as the girl being particularly good. This one is a pretty strong sexploitation horror from when softcore was transitioning into hardcore, so there’s sadly a bit too much time spent on nudity over the horror which causes it to run out of steam after the opening 20 minutes or so. Ends up I shouldn’t of been surprised, it’s produced by Bob Chinn who would go on to cement his place in history with the Johnny Wadd films starring John Holmes, who himself gets a credit here as assistant director. Apparently Holmes did the special make-up effect for the first kill. It’s not the greatest bit of gore you will find, but is the highlight of the film.

267 10-04 The Legend of Hell House (1973) 3.5/5
Blind bought this one based on word of mouth. It’s a pretty neat update on the haunted house story, for the time anyway. There was too much importance put on psychic powers for my taste, but the effects are good and it does get genuinely suspenseful. Being a big fan of THE EVIL DEAD, I can’t help but think that this is the missing link between THE HAUNTING and Raimi’s film. This one should be noted for an amazing performance by Roddy McDowall as well. So good stuff, I just didn’t love it.

268 10-04 Widow Blue! (1970) 3/5
This is the last Walt Davis film released on this Vinegar Syndrome disc, and boy is it a doozy. Also known as “SEX PSYCHO”, it’s one of truly demented films from the early days of seventies exploitation where porn is on the horizon and the filmmakers are going for broke. This film has everything in it. Explicit sex? Yup! Gay sex? Yup! Gore? Yup! All together in one scene? Yup! People having sex on top of a guy they just killed via a Herschell Gordon Lewis type neck chopping? Yup! As far as I can tell, this film would only appeal to Charles Manson. sadly, it runs out of steam halfway through, which is around when porn legend John Holmes shows up (unbilled) and it becomes more of a sex film that a horror/sex hybrid. That said, for fans of this kind of “Something Weird” stuff, it’s a goldmine. Completely uncut as far as I know, and all three films on the disc should entertain.

269 10-05 The Face Of Marble (1946) 1.5/5
This was the next film on that four pack I mentioned last blog and I have a feeling they front loaded the disc with the good movie, “Jonathan Drake.” Everything was bad on this one. The plot which was a Frankenstein, voodoo mish mash was poor and annoying, no performances of style to elevate it. The transfer had pretty much every issue a film can have with little gray scale, print bounce, compression, ugh. Everything about it was the pits. Lousy $10 disc! Thank goodness the Skulls of Jonathan Drake was good.

Corruption, not for girls.

270 10-05 Corruption (1968) 4/5
Peter Cushing plays a surgeon who has to resort to murder in order to save his model fiancee’s burned face. I was expecting a bit of a Hammer flavour to this one, and it sort of is like a Hammer, but man does it get vicious! I don’t think Cushing ever got more crazy than in this one, and the film keeps building up suspense by adding layers to all the main characters. I watched the International version that had more boobs and blood, but I imagine the regular release is just as good. Both are on the GRINDHOUSE RELEASING blu-ray I picked up, and the quality is fantastic. So it’s a swinging look at swinging London with Cushing murdering non-vampires, what’s not to like? (It’s also suitable for women if you’re a woman who likes proto-slasher horror.)

271 10-05 Cannibal Holocaust (1980) 4.5/5
It feels wrong to call this a classic, but it really is. It’s offensive, horrific, gross, and leaves you feeling almost despondent. Which means it absolutely succeeds in it’s goal in a way few films ever have. This was my 4th time watching it and it hasn’t lost any of it’s impact. It’s a real shame that they had to have animal cruelty in it. I can’t imagine the movie will ever have a better presentation than what GRINDHOUSE RELEASING has done with this blu-ray. If you’re a fan, it’s a must own.

272 10-05 Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932) 4/5
This one is considered a lower lever Universal Horror film, but I’ve always really enjoyed it. Lugosi is a carny scientist who claims to have a missing link ape named Erik and is obsessed with breeding Erik with a white woman. It’s incredibly twisted, hyper-sexual compared to most Universal Horrors, and even with all the censorship that plagued the film to this uncut final result. Lugosi is just as good in this as he is in DRACULA which helps keep things moving.

One thing I failed to mention in my Cannibal Holocaust review since I’ve seen it so many times in the score. It has one of the most hauntingly beautiful scores you will find in a film that plays against some of the most horrible imagery you will see. It helps add to the power of the film. So while I can’t recommend the film to anyone due to the real life animal cruelty involved, it succeeds in many ways in what it was trying to accomplish.

That’s it for now. At the rate I’m going I’ll probably have another movie post before the weekend.

The End