Movie A Day!: Witchtrap Champions!

More movies! Past week was an absolute bitch at work with our customer base being even more clueless and challenging than normal. When you have conversations explaining to people that the “Forrest Green” they say they purchased last month was actually called “Meadow Green” and that is why I was quoting them the wrong product, it does your fucking brain in.

So no fake deep thoughts to intro this one. Here’s the shitty movies I watched last week.


077 03/26 Witchtrap (1989) 3/5   At first glance all this film seems to have going for it scream queen supreme Linnea Quigley, as depicted on the poster. It’s actually a not bad haunted house type deal about a group of investigators trying to ghost-bust a house so it can become a bed and breakfast. Quigley has a minor role as a para-investigator that looks after all the tech, which has to be one of the only “smart” roles in her career. She still has to show her tits in a shower scene though, such is the life of a scream queen. Anyway, it’s pretty good but has a major problem. They mucked up the sound when filming so all the dialogue and sound effects are looped in post, and not very well. I’ve seen Italian dubbed films with tighter synch than this, and it makes for distracted viewing since everything sounds separate from the action. Which is a shame since aside from that it’s quite accomplished.

078 03/28 The Book of Joe (1984) 3/5  Student short film by the director of Witchtrap, Kevin Tenney is a little gem of a film about a defence lawyer who has to represent a man claiming to be the returning Jesus Christ. It manages to not be corny or preachy despite having a pro-faith lean. Included on the Blu-ray due to having many of the same actors as Witchtrap, it’s a neat addition.


079 03/30 Big City Blues (1932) 2.5/5   Pre-Code film from Warners finds a hick arriving in New York to set the town on fire and ends up getting burned. Probably most notable today for Humphrey Bogart having a small unbilled part. That’s kind of the problem with this one, lead Eric Linden as the hick is so completely overshadowed by co-star Joan Blondell (who gets top billing, just look at the poster) and everyone else that it’s hard to root for him since he’s such a unlikable, naive milksop. It ends up being serviceable at best.


080 03/31 Black Mass (2015) 2.5/5   Johnny Depp stars in the true story of Whitey Bulger, psychopath crime boss of South Boston. Depp does a pretty good job in this one, compared to the cartoon-like roles he’s been playing recently. That said, it’s not a very good movie in that despite being a true story it hits all the crime beats these pictures usually do without offering anything new and holy shit do actors love to mangle those Boston accents. I left this one thinking a documentary would have been better.


081 03/31 Boiling Desires (1987) 2/5   You have to hand it to porn jobber Carlos Tobalina for hiring four stars and managing to make an entire film out of the one-note plot of a couple of girls in which one hasn’t had sex yet and they’re all excited to have her have sex. It’s not a good movie, but you have to hand it to him.


082 04/01 The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 (2014) 3.5/5   Finally getting around to these. Problem I had is I barely remember the first two films, so most of this one was me going “Oh, right!” as plots came forward in my hazy brain. This one mostly revolves around Katniss mooning about for Pita while becoming a reluctant leader of the revolution. It’s good, though kind of sad since I think this is the last film Philip Seymour Hoffman did before passing he’s just so goddamned good. I think that’s why these pictures work. The love triangle stuff is lost on me since I find both the guys (Pita and whoever the other one is, so forgettable I can’t recall his name) so useless, the rest of the cast is so strong that it allows you to kind of forget about it and makes the rest of the film work.

083 04/02 Love Champions (1985) 2/5   The second Tobalina feature on the disc with boiling Desires, it has an even thinner plot than the first one, more hacked together and ends in another poorly shot orgy. Pretty much worthless as everyone in this picture have been in better movies.

Speaking of adult. I learned this morning on the passing of Radley Metzger. If anyone is wondering why I’m bothering with “shitty old porn”, I would advise them to have a peek at Metzger’s filmography. In the early days when it looked like porno-chic might actually go mainstream, it was largely due to filmmakers like Metzger. Getting his start in euro-softcore, under the pseudonym of Henry Paris  Metzger was one of the filmmakers that seemed on the cusp of making hardcore legit. The Opening of Misty Beethoven is an absolute masterpiece, period, and is highly recommended. Metzger will never get the credit as a filmmaker that he deserves, and he will never be forgotten. I also highly recommend The Rialto Report site or anyone with even a passing interest in adult, or a damn fine story since porn history is full of bonkers stories and the podcasts are great.

And with that, I will leave you for another week.

Movie A Day! 131-140 : Hot Pepper Pleasure

Late posting this one, and since last week was busy, it’s a ten title affair. We should return to regular programming.

131 04-19 Dry Wood (1973) 3/5
132 04-22 Hot Pepper! (1973) 3.5/5
Another great pair of documentaries from Les Blank, both dealing with Creole life. DRY WOOD mostly features the people of a small town and a pig roast while HOT PEPPER! is a profile on Zydeco accordionist Clifton Chenier. Both are pretty great, and like the previous Blank films show a joy of the simple life and community we seem to be lacking these days.

133 04-23 The Ernie Kovacs Collection Vol 2 (2012) 4/5
Another collection of Ernie’s morning, evening, specials and game shows. Similar to volume one, but a smaller collection. Still a fantastic bit of history that’s funny too. Amazing stuff.

134 04-24 Lenny (1974) 3.5/5
Bob Fosse takes a time out from musicals to do this biopic on comedian Lenny Bruce. I’ve been wanting to revisit this one since watching Fosse’s ALL THAT JAZZ earlier this year, and I enjoyed it about as much as I remember liking it the first time I saw it. It’s not the perfect picture, but Fosse’s direction and editing hold your attention, and Dustin Hoffman nails the intense Bruce. Worth checking out if you’re curious, but you might find it a little lacking since it doesn’t really check of the milestones of Bruce’s career.

135 04-24 Come Under My Spell (1979) 1.5/5
Another Carlos Tobalina Peekarama double feature from Vinegar Syndrome. This one finds Tobalina attempting a story! A hapless exchange student can’t score with American girls until he finds a book on hypnotism. It’s not as rape-y as it sounds, but with zero star power, piss poor acting and the typical hallmarks of Tobalina’s directing featuring out of focus shots, rough editing and to top it all off, some crewman sitting in the frame of the action, this one is a miss.

136 04-25 Tootsie (1982) 4/5
Dustin Hoffman plays a struggling, tough New York actor who to prove a point, dresses in drag to get a part on a soap opera. This one could of been painful to watch these days, but it holds up nearly perfectly. It’s laugh out loud funny, but the humour comes out of the situation as opposed to at the expense of Hoffman in drag. Mostly anyway. As a straight white guy, I might be insensitive. I loved it regardless, and Bill Murray and Teri Garr are both brilliant in supporting roles, as is Jessica Lange. The music however dates the film horrendously in the era it’s from, the early 80’s with the “Go Tootsie Go!” song that plays over montages (it is an eighties movie, it has montages) especially cloying. Not enough to ruin the film though, thankfully.

137 04-25 Lady Dynamite (1979) 2/5
The other Tobalina feature paired with COME UNDER MY SPELL, this one fares a bit better. A woman finds out that despite being faithful to her husband for ten years, she’s caught the clap. So she decides to make up for lost time and go on the prowl. It’s more polished than COME, but it’s still pretty dull stuff. I think Tobalina is the most artless of the directors that Vinegar Syndrome features. If you could ever get the sense he was trying, it could be fun to watch like an Ed Wood picture. You can tell though that he’s only interested in having product for his theater chain. To bad.

138 04-26 Blind Woman’s Curse (1970) 3.5/5
Half yakuza samurai picture, half ghost story and totally awesome. Meiko Kaji (LADY SNOWBLOOD) plays a young woman who takes over her fathers yakuza clan after he is killed. While attacking rivals for vengeance, she accidentally blinds a bosses sister, and believes herself cursed for it. That’s all in the opening minutes, and that’s the best I can figure it out since the film is bonkers. It never fully makes complete sense, but it’s a hell of a ride with some cool sword fights balanced out with horror elements and gore. Another great pick from Arrow Films to put out here in region 1!

139 04-27 Always For Pleasure (1978) 3.5/5
140 04-27 Lagniappe (2006) 3/5
Another pair of films from Les Blank, this time showing the details around Mardi Gras in New Orleans. ALWAYS is pretty much the perfect New Orleans documentary, showing a variety of parades from funeral procession to St. Patricks Day to the big Mardi Gras event itself. The best thing though is like his other documentaries, he concentrates on the music, the food and the people. So when it get’s to Mardi Gras, he shows the side street parades with the local tribes, spy boys and flag boys, it’s a side you never see on TV. LAGNIAPPE is made up of outtakes and musical performances shot during the same time that the original doc was made, and is a nice little extra glimpse.

That’s about it. The big news the past couple days of writing this is earthquakes in Nepal and more race riots, this time in Baltimore. It all makes me feel a bit helpless. I mean, I can scoot some cash to the red cross and whatever, but not much else. Awful times ahead I think, though we’re not nearly in as bad of shape as we were last year where every month seemed to spawn a new horror.

UPDATE: This is even later posting than expected. I wrote this Monday night, April 27 to post the following morning, and then got busy at work and forgot. Total failure. At least this one isn’t a lost blog and I’m posting it now. I guess this going live late at night for me will give people overseas a big thrill.

Yeah, right,

Movie A Day! 111-120: Beyond The Massacre Gun

As I write this the twitter-verse is a buzz with shock that Madonna would kiss Drake. Not because it’s a puzzle as to why anyone would kiss Drake, but because she’s apparently too old to be doing such things. I hate.


111 04-05 Louis Theroux: By Reason of Insanity (2 Episodes) 4/5
The latest documentary series from Theroux continues his look at the American prison system, this time specifically spending time in a mental institution treating people who couldn’t face trial due to being found mentally unfit to stand trial. It’s one of his tougher documentaries due to the mixed up morality. The crimes are nearly all truly awful, but you feel both repelled by, and sad for the people who committed them. So another great documentary series by Theroux. For those not familiar with Theroux, this is no goofy expose. Instead Theroux simply talks to people to hear what they have to say. It’s a brilliant approach that served him well in the goofy series, and works amazingly well now that’s he’s looking at more serious subjects.


112 04-05 Mark of the Times (2015) 3/5
This is a feature length special feature to be found on the MARK OF THE DEVIL disc put out by Arrow Video. It’s a pretty typical talking heads style doc, looking at the new wave of British horror in the seventies. I’m a horror fan, and a bit of a rube when it comes to this genre, so the doc was both interesting in subject matter and annoying in that I want to watch all the movies featured. The curse continues!


113 04-06 Better Call Saul (2014) (10 Episodes) 4/5
The sequel series to BREAKING BAD might actually be better than the series that spawned it. This one catches up with Saul after the events of the BB finale, then shoots us into the past where we see him pre-Saul, as hustler “Slippin’” Jimmy, attempting to turn his life around. It’s deadly good, being both hilarious and heartbreaking as well. Bob Odenkirk is putting in the performance of his as Jimmy/Saul, Jonathan Banks is back as Mike and stealing every scene he’s in, as will as being featured in what might be one of the great episodes of television, ever. Most surprising, Michael McKean (David St. Hubbins of SPINAL TAP) is also doing brilliant work and Jimmys mental breakdown suffering brother Chuck. I can not wait for season two to kick off.


114 04-07 Massacre Gun (1967) 3/5
The third release from ARROW VIDEO to arrive is a Yakuza picture. I don’t know enough about the genre to tell you how it compares to others. It’s a pretty decent gangster picture though. A hitman is forced to kill a girl he loves and all hell breaks loose. This one has a deliberate tone instead of the hyper action you would think would be in it based on the title, but it is a good one.


115 04-09 Louis Theroux: Transgender Children (2015) 4/5
Another special by Theroux, this one explores gender identity in children. It was fascinating, though sad to watch in that it seemed confusing to all involved. Theroux is typically great though in presenting. Worth a watch.


116 04-09 On Cinema At The Cinema Season 6 (2015) 4/5
As Decker comes to a close, so does the series that spawned it. The final episode was bittersweet due to the bit in the finale that has seen Gregg Turkington absent from Twitter to the time of this posting. A brilliant bit of comedy to be sure, I’m curious to see where they take it all next season since the joke seems to continue.


117 04-09 The Beyond (1981) 4/5
A second watch of Fulci’s Italian horror classic via Grindhouse Releasing recent blu-ray had me liking it even more. Basic plot is a woman takes over and starts to refurbish a hotel that has been built on one of the seven doors of hell. It plays like a nightmare with David Lynch style dream logic. If you’re looking for a normal narrative, there isn’t one to find here. If you’re want a gory fever dream, this is your picture.


118 04-10 Going Clear: Scientology And The Prison Of Belief (2015) 4/5
Been waiting for this documentary and it didn’t disappoint. I already knew some of the strangeness to be found, and this one does a really good job of laying it all out in perspective. It’s the type of film where you hope some real world change happens because of it.


119 04-10 Sensual Fire (1979) 2.5/5
This is the second Tobalina film to be found on Vinegar Syndromes Peekarama disc with last blogs THREE RIPENING CHERRIES. It’s the better film in that it has more plot. Jamie Gillis plays a pervo lusting after his girlfriends daughter and seeking help in dealing with it. The main problem is typical to Tobalina in that the editing and pacing kills what could have been a decent picture compared to all his shitty orgy pictures.


120 04-10 Godzilla (2014) 2/5
Finally sat down to this one and it was a piece of shit. You have one job, and one job only when you make a Godzilla movie and that is to have it packed with monster fights. Three quarters of this one is aftermath of monster fights, and when you finally do get to see the monsters fight, it’s it the dark so it’s still mostly hidden. So fuck this movie, and fuck Gareth Edwards whose other film, MONSTERS, also had no monsters or fighting for most of the duration.

Bit long this one huh? Been in the fog a bit with poor time management. I’ll try to get it back down to 5 titles a post.

Movie A Day! 101-110: Easter Nostril Devil

It’s Easter Sunday as I write this. I have no religious reason to celebrate, it’s  a good excuse to have a fancier food is all. So on top of all the chocolate I’ve eaten the past few days, I also went all out and made a coca-cola ham. It was good, and now it’s late and I realize I forgot to update the movie blog. So I’m doing this before I go to bed and watch a documentary on British horror. So I’ll apologize in advance for any extra grammar and spelling errors you will find over the usual, I’m tired.

101 04-01 Revenge of the Creature (1955) 3/5
102 04-02 The Creature Walks Among Us (1956) 3/5
The final two sequels to CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Neither of them are as good as the first one, and the second one has a modified suit that looks crap in the water (air bubbles come out of the top of the Gil-Mans head!) but both are enjoyable in their own way. REVENGE has the Gil-Man captured and put on display in a water park. WALKS has a team looking for the Gil-Man in the swamps, with the purpose of manipulating it’s DNA into becoming a super human that can be shot into space. So they are both wonky, but WALKS is the better movie with a great nighttime attack scene. REVENGE is probably most notable for having an unbilled Clint Eastwood in his second film doing a bit in a lab with rats.

103 04-02 Nympho Cycler (1971) 2.5/5
104 04-03 Shot On Location (1972) 1.5/5
A pair of borderling hard core features generally credited as being directed by Ed Wood Jr. NYMPHO was the better film, mainly due to actually having Wood in it as a the leads pervo husband who gets off taking sexy photo of her while he’s dressed in drag. Wood is hammy as hell, and the years of booze show. It’s a pretty sad site, but fascinating all the same. Once Nympho takes off, you never see Wood again and it becomes a rather tedious affair. SHOT ON LOCATION is guessed to have Woods involvement, but there’s nothing in it that worth watching, just the typical stupid grind and moan to be found in the cheapest of sexploitation, which both of these are.

105 04-03 The Nostril Picker (1993) 2.5/5
Super cheap shot on video slasher. A pervo learns the art of being a changeling (original title was THE CHANGER) from a homeless guy, and takes the form of a missing highschool girl so he can befriend some cheerleader types and kill them. Lowbrow in every way, from acting, to effects, but it all adds up to being kind of fun since they really go for it premise wise as opposed to being stupid with it.

106 04-03 Interstellar (2014) 4/5
I don’t think Nolan was completely successful in what he was going for with this, I’d have to watch it again. That said, he goes big with this one, not just in scope but in ideas, and I’ll take that a billion times over some garbage TRANSFORMERS or FAST FURIOUS film. The cast is all great, the films moves like it should and I didn’t find it had the pacing problems some have bitched about. Again, it’s attempting to tackle the big questions, I found the “downtime” just as interesting as the spectacle. That said, I’d be okay with Matthew McConaughey maybe having a time out for a few big films.

107 04-04 Decker: Port of Call: Hawaii (2015) 4/5
Between this, ON CINEMA AT THE CINEMA and their twitter accounts, Tim Heidecker and Gregg Turkington (Neil Hamburger) are doing some of the best satire to be found, period. It’s going to go down in the history books, so catch up you dummy’s! It can all be streamed on the net! Anyway, DECKER 2 was as brilliantly stupid as the first series, and I never want it to end since it’s a billion times more entertaining and creative than SHIELD WALKING DEAD.

Day of Anger Movie Poster

108 04-04 Day Of Anger (1967) 3.5/5
My ARROW VIDEO subscription has started to arrive, so expect to see their titles appearing again and again in this blog like you do Vinegar Syndrome. This first one is a Spaghetti Western, and a solid one at that. Giuliano Gemma (never heard of him either, he’s big in Europe) plays a bastard child that grew up in a shithole town and is now the towns slop boy, literally carting their poo away, dreaming of being a gunslinger and forcing their respect. Lee Van Cleef (THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY) arrives, and ends up taking the boy under his wing, being the father he never had. Only with lots of killing. If you like westerns, you should like this one, and the blu-ray looks great

109 04-04 Three Ripening Cherries (1979) 2/5
Another Carlos Tobalina snoozer porn. This one is about three sisters (?) who fantasize about what their first sexual experiences will be after learning sex ed in school. That’s the first ten minutes. The rest of the film are lazy, dull group sex scenes that Tobalina apparently never figured out how to film in an interesting way. I’ll watch the second feature on the Vinegar Syndrome disc next weekend.

110 04-05 Mark of the Devil (1970) 3.5/5
Another ARROW VIDEO release, this one was one of the more notorious features to be on the VIDEO NASTIES list in the UK. I watched a crappy download of it a few years ago during one of the horror challenges, and I have to admit, I got more out of it watching it properly restored in it’s correct aspect ratio. Anyway, it’s about abusive witch hunters in England, and takes a serious look at what was going on which means it’s filled with graphic torture and beatings with lots of blood, so it’s pretty great! An insanely young Udo Kier is the star, and that creepy Reggie Nalder who showed up in DRACULA SUCKS is great as the abusive witch hunter. This one is well worth a watch, not just due to it’s place in British Horror, but it’s actually a good movie instead of just relying on shock.

Thanks for reading.

Movie A Day! 091-095: Muthas

Sorry folks, but the blog didn’t stop. I just fell a little behind and haven’t been watching as many movies. So if you have had enough, delete me from your reading programs.

I feel disconnected, so no more intro, only movies.


091 03-15 The 2015 Juno Awards (2015) 2/5
Ends up I know even less about Canadian music these days than I do about our movies. Alanis Morissette got a lifetime achievement and a woman named “Lights” was pretty good. That’s about it since other popular bands like host Hedly and best band Magic are pretty much shit. (For the record, I don’t recognize anyone other than Hedly in that picture)


092 03-20 Sexual Heights (1981) 3/5
This is one Carlos Tobalina’s better porn efforts. A group of bachelors decide to trick a babysitter over that their buddy is all hot over. It’s a dumb comedy, to be sure, but the actors are all game, especially lead Jamie Gillis who is always fun to watch in these. Being Tobalina, it’s still a hack effort with a couple of John Holmes scenes thrown in for no real reason, but Tobalina at least tries to have it make sense, which helps this film rise above his usual uninspired efforts.


093 03-21 The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst (2015) (six episodes) 4/5
You couldn’t avoid this one this past week seeing as Durst was arrested the eve of the airing of the last episode for the murder of Susan Berman. Being a crime junkie, this was a must watch for me prior to that, and as a documentary series it mostly does a great job. My nitpick is actually the last episode. Sure, it’s a jaw dropper, I just have a peeve about directors pushing themselves into the film they are making. The last episode is as much about director Andrew Jarecki as it is about his subject, Robert Durst. I’m cranky about that stuff, don’t let it throw you off, this one is worth the watch in spades even if it is pure exploitation. To the point where part of me wants to avoid any updates on the Durst case so as not to spoil any future series.


094 03-22 Undulations (1981) 2/5
Jamie Gillis and a coked out John Holmes play themselves as guests on an entertainment show “Undulations”, the second film on the PEEKARAMA disc from Vinegar Syndrome that also features SEXUAL HEIGHTS. This one is pretty blah, basically a loop carrier that never really rises above the typical Tobalina standards. In fact, it’s so run of the mill that it uses the same credits as SEXUAL HEIGHTS, so it’s no surprise that it’s not as good as SH.


095 03-22 The Muthers (1976) 3.5/5
Vinegar Syndrome take a time out from porno sexploitation for a straight up exploitation classic.Jeannie Bell heads up a gang of pirates that are slaving around the pacific islands, and has to go undercover on a sugar plantation to sneak out one of their girls. So you get everything, blaxploitation, crappy kung-fu, women in prison jungle escapades. It’s pretty much the perfect movie.

Heavy on the Vinegar Syndrome this post. Don’t expect it to change much. Though I haven’t watched a film since THE MUTHERS.

Movie A Day! 061-070: Not As Long As You Think

Don’t worry, this post isn’t as huge as it looks. I haven’t gone back to the ten movie posts. I’ve had the week off work and have been watching tons of stuff while re-organizing my movie collection. So this one is larger than usual since I’ve combined some reviews.


061 02-19 The Naked Cage (1986) 2.5/5
062 02-19 Savage Island (1985) 1.5/5
These two are a couple of women in prison films that wrap up the CULT MOVIE MARATHON VOLUME 2 set that also had the previously reviewed ANGELS FROM HELL and the deliriously wonky CHATTER BOX. Anyway, Cage is about as 80’s as a film can get without shooting cocaine out of the screen. It’s a typical WIP film with an innocent girl getting wrongfully stuck in the clink and having to deal with lesbians and whatever. It’s funny enough, and since it’s from Cannon Films, it’s perfectly 80’s cheese that manages to barely hold your interest as it clicks through the tropes.
Savage Island stars Linda Blair (THE EXORCIST) as a woman who escaped from a deadly south american prison where women are slaved out and forced to work in an emerald mine. At least that what the opening and closing 5-10 minutes are about. The middle of the picture is an ineptly cut together hodge podge of two Italian WIP pictures dubbed over with the emerald plot. It doesn’t make any sense at all, and no amount of Linda Blair narration can help it.
So the set of four films kind of wimpers out, but considering this 4-pack can be found for $10, it’s not that bad of deal for the first disc.


063 02-19 They Made Me A Criminal (1939) 3.5/5
John Garfield stars as a boxer set up for murder who lams it’s to California and ends up working on a date farm with the Bowery Boys. It’s much better than that description would lead you to think, with a solid performance by Garfield, and mixing of film noir and juvenile delinquent films. Also, it was directed by Busby Berkeley who is better known for his amazing and crazy musicals. So it’s kind of neat to see a crime picture from him.


064 02-19 Big Bucks: The Press Your Luck Scandal (2003) 3.5/5
As promised last blog, I watched this special examining how Michael Larson figured out and ran up a record win on the game show. It’s a bit cheesey in presentation but the footage of the shows is absolutely riveting and fascinating. The Dollop podcast is funnier though.


065 02-20 For Single Swingers Only (1968) 2/5
066 02-20 Her Odd Tastes (1969) 3/5
067 02-20 Marsha the Erotic Housewife (1970) 2/5
It’s a Don Davis triple feature in this Vinegar Syndrome release. It’s a trio of sexploitation films, none of them all that great frankly. HER ODD TASTES stands out since it gets a bit wackier with a satanic bit and other weirdness. The other two are pretty typical sex films for the era.


068 02-20 The Counselor (2013) 2/5
I had no idea that Ridley Scott did a film between PROMETHEUS (which was really good) and EXODUS (I haven’t seen it yet, but it seems to have a lot of hate going at it, for the wrong reasons), but he did and this was it. Star power galore, with Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, hell John Leguizamo even shows up in a cameo. The basic plot is about the title Counselor getting mixed up in a big drug deal, but man, does this movie have fat to chew. It’s written by Cormac McCarthy (THE ROAD), and it feels like the screenplay is full of the stuff that might be interesting in a novel but plays ridiculous on film. Forty five minutes go by before you have any idea what the crime is going to be, and then it plods on for another hour and a half, with more extraneous scenes like a literal car fucking that just shouldn’t be in the movie. Maybe it’s due to watching the extended versions, but typically the extended versions are Scott’s “Directors Cut”, which is why I always pick them That said, I wont be revisiting this one anytime soon to watch the theatrical.


069 02-21 Fantastic Orgy (1977) 2.5/5
070 02-22 Champagne Orgy (1978) 2/5
Another Carlos Tobalina Peekarama double feature from from Vinegar Syndrome finds the director throwing all plot to the wind and just flat out orgy’s. The first film seems to be made up from outtakes from other films, including footage that is flat out miss-shot with camera flare and whatnot. none of it makes any kind of logical sense, with scenes being cut all willy. The second feature has Tobalina himself in it, inviting the crew to a lavish champagne wrap party after shooting some dumb movie. This is all an excuse for more daft group sex scenes. FANTASTIC gets a bit of a bump due to the absolutely golden narration that attempts to make sense out of the nonsense.

See? That one wasn’t too bad. Other then the stupid Counselor movie that’s sticking in my craw.

Movie A Day! 056-060: X-Rated Bears

This one is a weird update!


056 02-17 Carnal Haven (1975) 2/5
Another Carlos Tobalina double feature Peekarama from Vinegar Syndrome kicks off with this one. It’s another one of those films that has couples seeking sex therapy as a way to justify the film as educational. Which is all the excuse Tobalina needs to poorly shoot another massive, dull orgy that takes up most of the picture. I’ve recently learned that Tobalina shot most of these to show in his own theaters, which explains why they are so wonky and workman like compared to the better directors. That said, you have to kind of admire him since he wrote, shot, cast, and even scored his own films which makes him more of an auteur then most of the auteurs out there. I just wish the films weren’t so dull since the goofy dialogue can only carry things so far.


057 02-17 X-Rated: The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time (2015) 3/5
Clip show! They hit the 70’s Porno Chic era dead solid for the most part, then completely blow it by skipping the 80’s completely to concentrate on some films from the 90’s on, most that I never heard of. I’m guessing people were more interested in catalogue sales than a true list, because when you skip the 80’s, you skip the Dark Bros. and NEW WAVE HOOKERS, which is bullshit. That said, it’s not a bad starting point for anyone interested in the genre, and the interviews are pretty great featuring old and new stars.


058 02-18 Her Last Fling (1976) 2/5
A young woman is diagnosed with a fatal disease, so since this is a Carlos Tobalina movie, she uses the little time left to participate in a bunch of uninspired orgy’s. Thankfully, all that orgy-ing cures her in the end. Spoiler alert. This one wraps up the double feature with Carnal Haven, they’re certainly not the highlight of Vinegar Syndrome’s catalogue.


059 02-18 Disney Nature: Bears (2014) 4/5
The latest Disney Nature film is another winner for the series. Gorgeous photography, cute-ass bear cubs and John C. Reilly providing perfect narration, this one is the best on since AFRICAN CATS. If you’re looking for hard science, watch one of those stuffy Attenborough nature docs. If you want a cute, fun story like the old True-Life Adventures, this is the goods.


060 02-18 Millionaire: A Major Fraud (2003) 3/5
I stumbled on this one after falling down a Youtube well. It’s a program examining how Charles Ingram cheated his way to winning a million dollars on the UK version of “Who Want’s To Be A Millionaire.” Plotting with another contestant, it shows how a simple timed cough was all it took to feed him the answers. Pretty neat stuff, and I’m glad he was caught.

Bears, fraud and porn. Pretty typical, I guess. As a coincidence, I ended up listening to an episode of my favourite podcast THE DOLLOP about a guy who scammed PRESS YOUR LUCK in the 80’s. It was even more interesting then the Millionaire one, and there’s a documentary on it on youtube, so expect that review to be coming soon!