Movie A Day! 131-140 : Hot Pepper Pleasure

Late posting this one, and since last week was busy, it’s a ten title affair. We should return to regular programming.

131 04-19 Dry Wood (1973) 3/5
132 04-22 Hot Pepper! (1973) 3.5/5
Another great pair of documentaries from Les Blank, both dealing with Creole life. DRY WOOD mostly features the people of a small town and a pig roast while HOT PEPPER! is a profile on Zydeco accordionist Clifton Chenier. Both are pretty great, and like the previous Blank films show a joy of the simple life and community we seem to be lacking these days.

133 04-23 The Ernie Kovacs Collection Vol 2 (2012) 4/5
Another collection of Ernie’s morning, evening, specials and game shows. Similar to volume one, but a smaller collection. Still a fantastic bit of history that’s funny too. Amazing stuff.

134 04-24 Lenny (1974) 3.5/5
Bob Fosse takes a time out from musicals to do this biopic on comedian Lenny Bruce. I’ve been wanting to revisit this one since watching Fosse’s ALL THAT JAZZ earlier this year, and I enjoyed it about as much as I remember liking it the first time I saw it. It’s not the perfect picture, but Fosse’s direction and editing hold your attention, and Dustin Hoffman nails the intense Bruce. Worth checking out if you’re curious, but you might find it a little lacking since it doesn’t really check of the milestones of Bruce’s career.

135 04-24 Come Under My Spell (1979) 1.5/5
Another Carlos Tobalina Peekarama double feature from Vinegar Syndrome. This one finds Tobalina attempting a story! A hapless exchange student can’t score with American girls until he finds a book on hypnotism. It’s not as rape-y as it sounds, but with zero star power, piss poor acting and the typical hallmarks of Tobalina’s directing featuring out of focus shots, rough editing and to top it all off, some crewman sitting in the frame of the action, this one is a miss.

136 04-25 Tootsie (1982) 4/5
Dustin Hoffman plays a struggling, tough New York actor who to prove a point, dresses in drag to get a part on a soap opera. This one could of been painful to watch these days, but it holds up nearly perfectly. It’s laugh out loud funny, but the humour comes out of the situation as opposed to at the expense of Hoffman in drag. Mostly anyway. As a straight white guy, I might be insensitive. I loved it regardless, and Bill Murray and Teri Garr are both brilliant in supporting roles, as is Jessica Lange. The music however dates the film horrendously in the era it’s from, the early 80’s with the “Go Tootsie Go!” song that plays over montages (it is an eighties movie, it has montages) especially cloying. Not enough to ruin the film though, thankfully.

137 04-25 Lady Dynamite (1979) 2/5
The other Tobalina feature paired with COME UNDER MY SPELL, this one fares a bit better. A woman finds out that despite being faithful to her husband for ten years, she’s caught the clap. So she decides to make up for lost time and go on the prowl. It’s more polished than COME, but it’s still pretty dull stuff. I think Tobalina is the most artless of the directors that Vinegar Syndrome features. If you could ever get the sense he was trying, it could be fun to watch like an Ed Wood picture. You can tell though that he’s only interested in having product for his theater chain. To bad.

138 04-26 Blind Woman’s Curse (1970) 3.5/5
Half yakuza samurai picture, half ghost story and totally awesome. Meiko Kaji (LADY SNOWBLOOD) plays a young woman who takes over her fathers yakuza clan after he is killed. While attacking rivals for vengeance, she accidentally blinds a bosses sister, and believes herself cursed for it. That’s all in the opening minutes, and that’s the best I can figure it out since the film is bonkers. It never fully makes complete sense, but it’s a hell of a ride with some cool sword fights balanced out with horror elements and gore. Another great pick from Arrow Films to put out here in region 1!

139 04-27 Always For Pleasure (1978) 3.5/5
140 04-27 Lagniappe (2006) 3/5
Another pair of films from Les Blank, this time showing the details around Mardi Gras in New Orleans. ALWAYS is pretty much the perfect New Orleans documentary, showing a variety of parades from funeral procession to St. Patricks Day to the big Mardi Gras event itself. The best thing though is like his other documentaries, he concentrates on the music, the food and the people. So when it get’s to Mardi Gras, he shows the side street parades with the local tribes, spy boys and flag boys, it’s a side you never see on TV. LAGNIAPPE is made up of outtakes and musical performances shot during the same time that the original doc was made, and is a nice little extra glimpse.

That’s about it. The big news the past couple days of writing this is earthquakes in Nepal and more race riots, this time in Baltimore. It all makes me feel a bit helpless. I mean, I can scoot some cash to the red cross and whatever, but not much else. Awful times ahead I think, though we’re not nearly in as bad of shape as we were last year where every month seemed to spawn a new horror.

UPDATE: This is even later posting than expected. I wrote this Monday night, April 27 to post the following morning, and then got busy at work and forgot. Total failure. At least this one isn’t a lost blog and I’m posting it now. I guess this going live late at night for me will give people overseas a big thrill.

Yeah, right,

Movie A Day! 126-130 : Little Blank Safe

I ended up going to Record Store Day (Listen Records in Edmonton are wonderful hosts for such an event) and I got the four records I was hoping for, but I think this might be my last one. I can’t handle standing in line for over an hour anymore. It’s a young man’s game I guess, and at some point you should be beyond it right? How old do I need to get before I feel like a responsible adult?


126 04-17 God Respect’s Us When We Work, But Loves Us When We Dance (1968) 3/5
127 04-17 Spend It All (1972) 4/5
128 04-17A Well Spent Life (1972) 3.5/5 Another trio of documentaries from Les Blank, and all pretty amazing in their own way. GOD is a look at the first “Love-In” in San Francisco on Easter Sunday, 1967. If you have ever seen a documentary on the Summer Of Love, you have seen clips from this one. It is what it is, but mostly it’s hilarious as a time capsule. My only knock on this one is no live audio was recorded, it would have been neat to hear the music the bands that are shown were playing that was causing the crowd to freak out. SPEND captures the Cajun lifestyle in a small town in Louisiana with no comment, just shots of people doing what they do, fishing, eating, dancing, telling stories. It’s an amazing look at a lifestyle that was, I’m guessing, on the cusp of vanishing. You feel like you know more about life after watching it, which is some pretty brilliant film making. WELL SPENT LIFE catches up with Mance Lipscomb, a legendary folk blues guitarist who is seen briefly in the Lightnin’ Hopkins documentary. It’s mostly Mance, now more of a sharecrop farmer than a blues legend, talking about what he’s learned about life and how to live it. Some great stories, amazing songs, and leaves you thinking maybe the simple life is the better one. This Les Blank set is a hell of a document on America so far, in that it deals with people and their lives without comment,outside of politics and all the other stuff that tends to be part of documentaries these days. There’s no point being made, you are more of a witness, left to make up your own mind. I’m loving this Criterion Collection set, and still have two blu-rays to go.


129 04-18 SAFE (1995) 3.5/5
Julianne Moore is fantastic in this one as a woman dealing with “environmental illness” that is debilitating her. Director Todd Haynes plays the cards close to his chest, you’re never sure if it illness is real or a psychological block to her current, empty life. It loses a bit of steam in the second half, but not enough to kill the movie and Moore’s performance should keep you interested. The recent Criterion Collection blu-ray is a pretty much perfect presentation that features a cool chat between Moore and Haynes.


130 04-18 Little Sisters (1972) 3/5
Alex deRenzy’s second shot at a narrative film plays like a hardcore John Waters picture.  A protective mum living in the woods with her two daughters has to go on a search after the two are kidnapped by a pirate gang “The Dykes”. It plays more like an underground film than a porno, though it is explicit with nearly constant group rapes scenes that are done so over the top and gleefully shot that it really plays like the early John Waters (who shot hardcore in PINK FLAMINGOS) films like DESPERATE LIVING where it’s hard to be offended despite what you’re witnessing. For a second feature, deRenzy is already showing the chops that would seal his position as a leading porn auteur, and this one really shows the blurry lines of the era were it seemed like hardcore was going to break into the mainstream. The stolen soundtrack featuring Pink Floyd and Santana is fun too. Vinegar Syndrome presents this one uncut for the first time since it’s release, and though POWDER BURNS is a bit of a bust, this PEEKARAMA set presents a key piece of history in it’s own way.

Time to finish up laundry and maybe head outside for some yard clean-up after the never ending winter we get. I guess that’s being an adult. It sucks. I got music to listen too, books to read, movies to watch, games to play.

Movie A Day! 121-125: Lightnin’ Vermeer Burns

It’s late and I need to go to bed. So not much of an intro this post. It’s a Thursday night, the wind is trying to bring in the rain. Saturday is Record Store Day, a typical day of panic for me but this year I’m not feeling it. I’ll probably go, but I’m not sure I’m going to line up before the store opens in an obsessed fever. I’ll see how I feel on the day.

Another weird mix, but I feel a documentary film jag coming on, so that should balance the odd porno review that typically sully the blog and keeps readers away.


121 04-12 The 2015 MTV Movie Awards (2015) 3/5
A bunch of people I never heard of from movies I haven’t seen won some awards I don’t care about. It was hosted by Amy Schumer, and she’s the best and as good a reason to watch anything.


122 04-15 Powder Burns (1971) 2/5
Vinegar Syndrome dug deep on their latest Peekarma release of Alex deRenzy films. This one, billed as a “Meta-Western”, was so rare I think it was once disputed to exist at all. Anyway, I believe this one is future porn auteur deRenzy’s first attempt at a narrative film after concentrating on documentaries and loops. It’s a total mess. It want’s to be a wonky Russ Meyer romp, but it never get’s going with the amateur acting and what not. Plus it does go hardcore right at the end, so it was never going to play like a Russ Meyers film. Which is too bad, because despite the heavy print damage, the thing is actually made really good. Some of the shots of the cowboys out on their horses look really good and the idea isn’t a bad one, it just never quite works despite how much you might wish it did.


123 04-15 Tim’s Vermeer (2013) 4/5
Such a simple premise for a documentary. Johannes Vermeer was one of the Dutch Masters and known for painting photo realistic paintings. Penn & Teller’s inventor friend Tim is interested in figuring out how he did it. To say Tim is mildly obsessed is being polite, but he’s just the right amount of bonkers to be pleasant to watch on his journey to see if he can replicate the techniques, with no background in oil painting. It makes for a great documentary that reminded me of the smaller pictures that Errol Morris made focusing on individuals. The biggest surprise is that there are no tricks, with Penn & Teller attached, it’s directed by Teller, I kept expecting an Orson Welle’s type hoax to pop up and thankfully it never does. Good stuff, and worth your time.


124 04-16 The Blues Accordin’ To Lightnin’ Hopkins (1969) 4/5
125 04-16 The Suns Going to Shine (1969) 3.5
This is a pair of documentary short films by Les Blank featuring blues legend Lightnin’ Hopkins. They’re quite brilliant. The first is the main film, and mostly captures Hopkins in his hometown in Texas playing the blues and capturing the community around him. It’s spellbinding. There’s a long sequence where Hopkins “explains the blues” via a song he’s making up on the spot. You wish the movie was three hours long, the less than 40 minute running time isn’t long enough. THE SUNS GOING TO SHINE is a second film made at the same time (probably an outtake), detailing the story of Hopkins leaving home at the age of eight to escape the cotton fields to become a musician. This is part of the Criterion Collection’s LES BLANK: ALWAYS FOR PLEASURE, so there are actually a couple more little shorts included on Hopkins, and it’s STILL NOT ENOUGH! (Also, watch the movie LOUIE BLUIE while you’re at it.)

One of the weird things that struck me watching Lightnin’ Hopkins tonight is the realization that the form of country blues he played is pretty much a dead form now. Anyone playing like that now would probably be labeled a poseur, and as far as a Black cultural thing, Hip Hop has taken it’s place as a form of speaking of the current Black experience. What Chuck D called “The News” for Black America. It makes one appreciate films like this even more. It’s truly a record of what is now lost. I’m sure there are people paying tribute to this music, but that seems different than creating it. Watching Hopkins play, the music flows out of him, the art being as effortless as breathing. A sign of the time and the years he put into it’s craft, art isn’t effortless to anyone if they care about it. Not a tribute of what others did, but the only music he is capable of creating. It’s a blessing that Blank was able to capture a piece of it. Hopkins didn’t want to do the film, Blank won him over finally over a card game. Hopkins made up a song about beating Blank at cards as a joke. Natural brilliance that can’t be helped.

Off to bed.

Movie A Day! 111-120: Beyond The Massacre Gun

As I write this the twitter-verse is a buzz with shock that Madonna would kiss Drake. Not because it’s a puzzle as to why anyone would kiss Drake, but because she’s apparently too old to be doing such things. I hate.


111 04-05 Louis Theroux: By Reason of Insanity (2 Episodes) 4/5
The latest documentary series from Theroux continues his look at the American prison system, this time specifically spending time in a mental institution treating people who couldn’t face trial due to being found mentally unfit to stand trial. It’s one of his tougher documentaries due to the mixed up morality. The crimes are nearly all truly awful, but you feel both repelled by, and sad for the people who committed them. So another great documentary series by Theroux. For those not familiar with Theroux, this is no goofy expose. Instead Theroux simply talks to people to hear what they have to say. It’s a brilliant approach that served him well in the goofy series, and works amazingly well now that’s he’s looking at more serious subjects.


112 04-05 Mark of the Times (2015) 3/5
This is a feature length special feature to be found on the MARK OF THE DEVIL disc put out by Arrow Video. It’s a pretty typical talking heads style doc, looking at the new wave of British horror in the seventies. I’m a horror fan, and a bit of a rube when it comes to this genre, so the doc was both interesting in subject matter and annoying in that I want to watch all the movies featured. The curse continues!


113 04-06 Better Call Saul (2014) (10 Episodes) 4/5
The sequel series to BREAKING BAD might actually be better than the series that spawned it. This one catches up with Saul after the events of the BB finale, then shoots us into the past where we see him pre-Saul, as hustler “Slippin’” Jimmy, attempting to turn his life around. It’s deadly good, being both hilarious and heartbreaking as well. Bob Odenkirk is putting in the performance of his as Jimmy/Saul, Jonathan Banks is back as Mike and stealing every scene he’s in, as will as being featured in what might be one of the great episodes of television, ever. Most surprising, Michael McKean (David St. Hubbins of SPINAL TAP) is also doing brilliant work and Jimmys mental breakdown suffering brother Chuck. I can not wait for season two to kick off.


114 04-07 Massacre Gun (1967) 3/5
The third release from ARROW VIDEO to arrive is a Yakuza picture. I don’t know enough about the genre to tell you how it compares to others. It’s a pretty decent gangster picture though. A hitman is forced to kill a girl he loves and all hell breaks loose. This one has a deliberate tone instead of the hyper action you would think would be in it based on the title, but it is a good one.


115 04-09 Louis Theroux: Transgender Children (2015) 4/5
Another special by Theroux, this one explores gender identity in children. It was fascinating, though sad to watch in that it seemed confusing to all involved. Theroux is typically great though in presenting. Worth a watch.


116 04-09 On Cinema At The Cinema Season 6 (2015) 4/5
As Decker comes to a close, so does the series that spawned it. The final episode was bittersweet due to the bit in the finale that has seen Gregg Turkington absent from Twitter to the time of this posting. A brilliant bit of comedy to be sure, I’m curious to see where they take it all next season since the joke seems to continue.


117 04-09 The Beyond (1981) 4/5
A second watch of Fulci’s Italian horror classic via Grindhouse Releasing recent blu-ray had me liking it even more. Basic plot is a woman takes over and starts to refurbish a hotel that has been built on one of the seven doors of hell. It plays like a nightmare with David Lynch style dream logic. If you’re looking for a normal narrative, there isn’t one to find here. If you’re want a gory fever dream, this is your picture.


118 04-10 Going Clear: Scientology And The Prison Of Belief (2015) 4/5
Been waiting for this documentary and it didn’t disappoint. I already knew some of the strangeness to be found, and this one does a really good job of laying it all out in perspective. It’s the type of film where you hope some real world change happens because of it.


119 04-10 Sensual Fire (1979) 2.5/5
This is the second Tobalina film to be found on Vinegar Syndromes Peekarama disc with last blogs THREE RIPENING CHERRIES. It’s the better film in that it has more plot. Jamie Gillis plays a pervo lusting after his girlfriends daughter and seeking help in dealing with it. The main problem is typical to Tobalina in that the editing and pacing kills what could have been a decent picture compared to all his shitty orgy pictures.


120 04-10 Godzilla (2014) 2/5
Finally sat down to this one and it was a piece of shit. You have one job, and one job only when you make a Godzilla movie and that is to have it packed with monster fights. Three quarters of this one is aftermath of monster fights, and when you finally do get to see the monsters fight, it’s it the dark so it’s still mostly hidden. So fuck this movie, and fuck Gareth Edwards whose other film, MONSTERS, also had no monsters or fighting for most of the duration.

Bit long this one huh? Been in the fog a bit with poor time management. I’ll try to get it back down to 5 titles a post.

Movie A Day! 101-110: Easter Nostril Devil

It’s Easter Sunday as I write this. I have no religious reason to celebrate, it’s  a good excuse to have a fancier food is all. So on top of all the chocolate I’ve eaten the past few days, I also went all out and made a coca-cola ham. It was good, and now it’s late and I realize I forgot to update the movie blog. So I’m doing this before I go to bed and watch a documentary on British horror. So I’ll apologize in advance for any extra grammar and spelling errors you will find over the usual, I’m tired.

101 04-01 Revenge of the Creature (1955) 3/5
102 04-02 The Creature Walks Among Us (1956) 3/5
The final two sequels to CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Neither of them are as good as the first one, and the second one has a modified suit that looks crap in the water (air bubbles come out of the top of the Gil-Mans head!) but both are enjoyable in their own way. REVENGE has the Gil-Man captured and put on display in a water park. WALKS has a team looking for the Gil-Man in the swamps, with the purpose of manipulating it’s DNA into becoming a super human that can be shot into space. So they are both wonky, but WALKS is the better movie with a great nighttime attack scene. REVENGE is probably most notable for having an unbilled Clint Eastwood in his second film doing a bit in a lab with rats.

103 04-02 Nympho Cycler (1971) 2.5/5
104 04-03 Shot On Location (1972) 1.5/5
A pair of borderling hard core features generally credited as being directed by Ed Wood Jr. NYMPHO was the better film, mainly due to actually having Wood in it as a the leads pervo husband who gets off taking sexy photo of her while he’s dressed in drag. Wood is hammy as hell, and the years of booze show. It’s a pretty sad site, but fascinating all the same. Once Nympho takes off, you never see Wood again and it becomes a rather tedious affair. SHOT ON LOCATION is guessed to have Woods involvement, but there’s nothing in it that worth watching, just the typical stupid grind and moan to be found in the cheapest of sexploitation, which both of these are.

105 04-03 The Nostril Picker (1993) 2.5/5
Super cheap shot on video slasher. A pervo learns the art of being a changeling (original title was THE CHANGER) from a homeless guy, and takes the form of a missing highschool girl so he can befriend some cheerleader types and kill them. Lowbrow in every way, from acting, to effects, but it all adds up to being kind of fun since they really go for it premise wise as opposed to being stupid with it.

106 04-03 Interstellar (2014) 4/5
I don’t think Nolan was completely successful in what he was going for with this, I’d have to watch it again. That said, he goes big with this one, not just in scope but in ideas, and I’ll take that a billion times over some garbage TRANSFORMERS or FAST FURIOUS film. The cast is all great, the films moves like it should and I didn’t find it had the pacing problems some have bitched about. Again, it’s attempting to tackle the big questions, I found the “downtime” just as interesting as the spectacle. That said, I’d be okay with Matthew McConaughey maybe having a time out for a few big films.

107 04-04 Decker: Port of Call: Hawaii (2015) 4/5
Between this, ON CINEMA AT THE CINEMA and their twitter accounts, Tim Heidecker and Gregg Turkington (Neil Hamburger) are doing some of the best satire to be found, period. It’s going to go down in the history books, so catch up you dummy’s! It can all be streamed on the net! Anyway, DECKER 2 was as brilliantly stupid as the first series, and I never want it to end since it’s a billion times more entertaining and creative than SHIELD WALKING DEAD.

Day of Anger Movie Poster

108 04-04 Day Of Anger (1967) 3.5/5
My ARROW VIDEO subscription has started to arrive, so expect to see their titles appearing again and again in this blog like you do Vinegar Syndrome. This first one is a Spaghetti Western, and a solid one at that. Giuliano Gemma (never heard of him either, he’s big in Europe) plays a bastard child that grew up in a shithole town and is now the towns slop boy, literally carting their poo away, dreaming of being a gunslinger and forcing their respect. Lee Van Cleef (THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY) arrives, and ends up taking the boy under his wing, being the father he never had. Only with lots of killing. If you like westerns, you should like this one, and the blu-ray looks great

109 04-04 Three Ripening Cherries (1979) 2/5
Another Carlos Tobalina snoozer porn. This one is about three sisters (?) who fantasize about what their first sexual experiences will be after learning sex ed in school. That’s the first ten minutes. The rest of the film are lazy, dull group sex scenes that Tobalina apparently never figured out how to film in an interesting way. I’ll watch the second feature on the Vinegar Syndrome disc next weekend.

110 04-05 Mark of the Devil (1970) 3.5/5
Another ARROW VIDEO release, this one was one of the more notorious features to be on the VIDEO NASTIES list in the UK. I watched a crappy download of it a few years ago during one of the horror challenges, and I have to admit, I got more out of it watching it properly restored in it’s correct aspect ratio. Anyway, it’s about abusive witch hunters in England, and takes a serious look at what was going on which means it’s filled with graphic torture and beatings with lots of blood, so it’s pretty great! An insanely young Udo Kier is the star, and that creepy Reggie Nalder who showed up in DRACULA SUCKS is great as the abusive witch hunter. This one is well worth a watch, not just due to it’s place in British Horror, but it’s actually a good movie instead of just relying on shock.

Thanks for reading.

Movie A Day! 096-100: Walking Hazard

Last Friday I had a rare night out, went to a show with the boss to see White Buffalo. He’s a folk singer. I don’t know if that’s his birth name, he was good. In an even rarer event, I ran into someone I know but haven’t seen in at least a couple of years. Someone who really helped me out over the really rough years while I was helping to care for Dad as he fought cancer, someone who probably knows more about me than anyone in my current, hermit life. Circumstances changed, and well, we were unable to see each other anymore. It was cool though. And catching up with her, albeit briefly was really nice. She married, has a kid, a nice career. I’ve lost all my friends the past couple years, my fault, and while she left my life for completely different reasons than the others, it was great to see her and felt good to know she was doing good. Typically bump ins like this throw me into a jealous loop and my ego rages for days. I guess I’m finally getting my shit together emotionally. I’ll probably never see her again, and that’s okay, it’s the deal. She was incredibly kind to me, and it’s nice that I wasn’t my usual dick-self bumping into her at the show.

Another late blog, I didn’t realize I had hit five titles due to some of them being TV shows wrapping up.


096 03-28 Comic Book Men Season 4 (2014, 16 Episodes) 2/5
Possibly the most scripted “Reality” show of them all, it’s gotten even worse. The storylines/celeb guests are all annoying, and the PAWN STAR bit is so insanely seeded it’s ridiculous. The real problem is the men of the title are a bunch of assholes, and in many ways personify everything wrong with comic book shops. But it’s a Kevin Smith show, so I doubt it will go away anytime soon. I’m basically watching it out of laziness, it’s become a habit after watching Walking/Talking Dead.


097 03-29 The Young Marrieds (1972) 3/5
The last film directed by Ed Wood Jr., and he goes out in a bit of a whimper. This porno is the last film he wrote and directed. As a porn, there’s not much here to recommend, but as an Ed Wood Jr. film, it’s got many of the touches that made him famous. Manly a wonky, self righteous narration that’s similar to GLEN & GLENDA, and a hilarious plot twist to challenge homophobes. Not entirely fun and doesn’t hold a candle to his 50’s period, but it’s good enough.


098 03-30 Dark Hazard (1934) 3/5
Edward G. Robinson plays a degenerate gambler trying to play it straight to please his fuddy dud wife who rescued him from the gutter. It’s pretty standard early thirties fair that rises above the typical preachy due to Robinson’s exuberance, and quite possibly the greatest twist ending* I’ve seen outside of a TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE.


099 03-30 The Walking Dead Season 5 (2014) 3/5
100 03-30 The Talking Dead Season 4 (2014) 2.5/5
Quite possibly the weakest season of the Walking Dead finds the majority of the characters behaving completely against they way they have in previous seasons. The best example being the story of leader Rick who has spent the past four seasons trying to keep his family together and safe becoming obsessed with wanting to fuck a married woman at a compound they find to the point of wanting to kill her husband. Yeah, that sounds about right for a guy who has valued family about everything else. All for visceral “shocks” intended to keep the audience guessing. It’s stuff like this that undermined the whole series, and while the season finale helped to right some of the wrongs, I get a feeling this one is going to suffer the fate of most US television by going on too long and getting increasingly shitty. Of course, they’re planning a second series which means there will be two shit series to follow.

That’s it! Below is a spoiler for DARK HAZARD, since none of you will watch it anyway, and it really is a great ending. So skip this next bit if you think you might actually see it (you know you wont).

*SPOILER ALERT!

So the great ending is this, Robinson has started looking after a dog racing track, and loses all his money gambling so his wife takes the last of it and moves back to Idaho. Robinson spends the next couple years trying to win back his fortune to pay back the wife and goes completely bust, having to hobo to Idaho on trains to get back to his wife. Unknown to him, the wife has had his child, and has been rekindling an affair with some local geek. Robinson tries to turn his life around a second time, and the wife goes along with it for the kids sake. So he’s working a legit job, and manages to get a way to by his favourite racing dog, Dark Hazard of the title. This sets his wife in another tizzy, and Robinson has a blow out with the geek, dropping him with one punch like the fucking hulk. The wife freaks, tells him it’s not going to work out. So what happens? Robinson fucks off with his dog, and in a montage starts hitting the tracks, winning huge pots, and rekindling a romance with a hot blond in which he ends up traveling the globe, blonde and dog in hand, betting at the best horse tracks in the world. Completely dumping the killjoy wife and kid! THE BEST “FUCK YOU” ENDING IN FILM! They don’t make ’em like they used to, kids.