Scary Movie Challenge 2017 Part 1

As warned, the Scary Movie Challenge has started. I tend to post these when I get around 10 films, so you’ll have to deal with it I guess. This one is 12.

Started the challenge with a dip into Arrow Videos Hellraiser: The Scarlet Box set.


292 10/01 Hellraiser (1987) 4/5   Nice to see this one hold up so well. Uncle Frank gets his hand on a puzzle box and solving it opens the gates to hell. It’s icky and thought provoking in both it’s horror and sexuality. It’s a shame the sequels never capitalized on it.


293 10/01 Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) 3.5/5   A direct sequel to the first one sees the characters return for more Cenobite action. This one goes quite big, with extended scenes in hell to keep it interesting despite a kind of dopey plot about a doctor investigating the goings on in the first film. Also features an origin story of sorts for Pinhead, so worth it for that too.


294 10/01 Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth (1992) 3/5   Pinhead is back, this time trapped in a rich kids gaudy statue and a news reporter gets caught up investigating the weird goings on. This one isn’t terrible, but it is a step down in that the LA rock club setting and quipping new Cenobites just don’t match with what was built in the first two.


295 10/01 Rattlers (1976) 3/5   Rattlesnakes are ganging up and killing people in the desert and it’s up to a snake professor to figure it out! Yes, the movie  is corny as hell but it manages to mostly work with it’s dopey premise. It’s a fun watch at any rate which is more than you can say for most of these goofy animal attack pictures.


296 10/02 Phenomena (1985) 3.5/5    A young girl sent to a boarding school gets wrapped up in a murder mystery with the help of her psychic connection to insects and a monkey. Dario Argento’s weird “Nancy Drew” is a bit of a mess both story wise and production wise with its shifting metal soundtrack. This was my first time watching the 116 minute cut, and while I’m no expert I did enjoy this one more than I did my first go round. Jennifer Connelly is great as the young girl despite being a bit stiff as an actress at this early young point of her career, but her detachment largely works in favour of the picture. Anyways, no one will mistake this one as a masterpiece, but it is interesting and worth a look.


297 10/02 The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970) 4.5/5   Revisted the film that put Dario Argento on the map and solidified the Giallo as a genre. An American writer in Italy witnesses a murder and gets wrapped up in the investigation. It’s got a huge Hitchcock stamp on it plot wise, but where in a Hitchcock film you would see Cary Grant swaggering through the posh part of town, this one has a more gritty look and feel with a ton of style. The whole thing simply works and is a genuine masterpiece.


298 10/03 Popcorn (1991) 3/5   This is one I recall kicking around the video shops for ages but I never bit on since at the time I was completely over the goofy comedy horror brought on by the Nightmare on Elm Street sequels. Ends up being a fun little film about a bunch of film students who put on a horror-thon in order to raise funds. Ends up one of the students has a past that’s about to catch up with her. Basically a rip on Phantom of the Opera to a degree, it manages to not get too annoying and the movies in the movie stuff from the marathon are fun.


299 10/05 Caltiki The Immortal Monster (1959) 4/5   I’m probably rating this one higher than I should, but I love a good monster movie and this one is a GREAT monster movie! A group are exploring Myan ruins and boy, do they ever discover something. All signs point to this being a Mummy movie, but it’s much worse. Lean, mean and nasty, it’s a ton of fun with some shockingly graphic effects for the time. I guess I should also mention that cinematographer and effects artist Mario Bava’s hand is all over this one, stylistically.


300 10/05 Pulse (2001) 3/5   Another Japanese ghost story, this time with ghosts using the internet to come through? Maybe? I’ll be honest, I had a hard time following this one. I don’t know if something’s lost in the translation or what, but it didn’t make a ton of sense. What saves it is the atmosphere. It manages to be beautiful and creepy, and since the characters get a little foggy as the film goes on I think we can excuse the story for being muddled.

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301 10/06 Shock (1977) 3/5   Mario Bava’s final film has budget issues that are apparent in it’s look, but aside from that ends up being a pretty good ghost story. A woman moves back to the house she shared with her late husband, and his ghost seems to be influencing her little boy. No one will mistake it for a masterpiece, but it manages to do the job and keep you interested which is more than you can say about most of these films.

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302 10/06 The Church (1989) 2.5/5   Dario Argento produces and his daughter has a role in this one about a church built on the site where crusaders killed a bunch of pagans back in the day. Now under renovations, they disturb the dead and you can just imagine how it goes. This was one of those pictures where if I wasn’t binge-ing films in October I might of gotten more out of it than I did. I also watched the version shown on TCM, so no idea if anything was cut or not, there was just nothing all that exceptional about it.


303 10/07 He Knows You’re Alone (1980) 2/5   Recorded this one off of TCM so I have no idea if it was edited. A run of the mill slasher short both on T&A and gore, it’s most noteworthy thing is a small bit part by Tom Hanks. Otherwise, you can find better.

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Movie A Day!: 390-396 -“Work? I saw a baby blown apart at my ‘Work.'”

How is everyone doing? Everyone holding up? Christmas and the holidays are descending like a fog and it’s hard not to get caught up in it. I continue to not feel the spirit. Maybe it’s from being old, single and childless, but in the “take it or leave” it side of Christmas, I could leave. Except for the turkey dinner, I like that part. I’m going to try to get out a bit over my Christmas week off work and hopefully not get totally despondent like I usually do. Hopefully all of you do the same.

Here’s my last week of films, some really good ones!

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390 12-15 Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman (1943) 4/5
I’m rating this one higher than a non-fan of the series would. This was the first big monster meetup picture for the Universal Monster series, and as such acts as a sequel to THE WOLFMAN and THE GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN. That said, it’s more of a sequel to Wolfie since it largely follows the story of Talbot and his werewolf curse. Anyway, it totally delivers and manages to be a really dark picture as far as tone goes. It’s also notable for being the only time Bela Lugosi would play Frankenstein, and he does a pretty good job other than they fucked him over. Carrying on from GHOST, the monster was supposed to talk in this one, but the studio thought it looked corny and cut all the dialog. So you have poor Bela stumbling about with arms flailing looking a bit wonky when he’s actually playing the monster blind, which you will never know since they cut the dialog explaining the blindness. Still, in the end, it’s a hell of a lot of fun, I just wish Universal would get off their asses and restore these since the print used on the DVD is the worst one in the set, so far.

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391 12-16 Michael Buble’s Christmas in New York (2014) 2.5/5
12-16 A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) 5/5
12-16 Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tales (2002) 1.5/5
Yup, I’m still getting rooked into Christmas specials. This year, 2014, is the year in which some new singer named Ariana Grande is on every TV special. Some how dopey Canadian crooner Buble roped her into singing on his special. Grande is technically a good singer in that she hits the notes, but she’s one of those soulless, mechanical singers that appear to be reading a phone book, with no care or effort happening, that always spooks me and makes me not like them. This special is also the second special to feature the legendary Rockettes kicking their legs all over the place. I don’t get them either. Give me some tap dancers and I’m in. This corny revue stuff leading into leg kicking is a bunch of bullshit. The highlight, and the reason I’m giving it 2.5 stars. is Buble sings “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with Miss Piggy, with Miss Piggy taking the rapist part that the guys usually sing. Awesome!

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS is a classic that you should have seen by now. The other one was terrible, featuring gaggy vignettes that I’m guessing were taken from the actual daily strips. It didn’t work as a cartoon special, and actually put me off getting some of the beautiful strip reprints that Fantagraphics have been putting out.

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392 12-17 Captive Wild Woman (1943) 3/5
Ever wanted to see a movie where a mad scientist turns a gorilla into a beautiful woman that can control lions and tigers to help a circus act? Here’s your chance! This is as wonky a Universal Horror title as you will find, and a heck of a lot of fun. To a point, and that point is to be found in how much animal mayhem you can enjoy before thinking thay should leave the poor wild beasts alone. Seriously, nearly half of the 61 minute running time is tiger and lion taming, and it’s just inherently cruel right? At least they got to be in the movies so we could enjoy their torture forever and ever. Right? Hello? Still with me?

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393 12-18 Zatoichi in Desperation (1972) 4/5
Zatoichi star Katsu directs this one, the second last film in the original series, and holy shit is it a dark one. At this point, Zatoichi is pretty much running on instinct and barely able to live with himself after all the constant failures of redemption and killings that go with them. It’s got the typical, trying to help people and gets mixed up with the Yakuza plot, but everything is gritty, poor and brutal. Katsu does some unnecessarily flashy flourishes in the directors chair, but it doesn’t take away from the naturalistic feel of this one. One more film and I’m done. I DON’T WANT IT TO END!

394 12-19 Noah (2014) 3.5/5

Maybe it was low expectations due to this one getting a critical thrashing but I really liked it. It’s a gonzo version of the Noah’s Ark story, but I’m fine with the filmmaker taking liberty with the source material, especially if it’s Darren Aronofsky. Visually impressive like all his work, and the film moves at a pretty quick pace. Russell Crowe and the rest of the cast are just as good, and it’s nice to see a Bible film deal with the real world ramifications of “miracles” in a more realistic way (despite this being a fantasy picture) than in wonder and awe of how amazing things are. If that makes sense.

395 12-20 Prisoner of Paradise (1980) 3/5

Adult auteur Bob Chinn takes on WW2 with John Holmes with this one. Holmes washes up on a deserted pacific island, only it’s not deserted after all. Nazis have set up a secret listening post, run by a porky dude, and two wicked female guards, one of them porn legend Seka. Everything is set-up to be some prime, gonzo Nazisploitation, but Chinn plays it more like a straight WW2 actioner with porn in it, so it never really takes off despite the cast all doing a pretty decent job acting. Seka as the nasty bitch head guard and Holmes as the burned out navy survivor steal the show, but there isn’t much to steal in this one.

396 12-20 Out Of The Furnace (2013) 3.5/5

This one seemed to sneak out last year with no one really talking about it. Christian Bale stars as a steelworker who is trying to keep his family together after a brief prison stint for a DUI accident. It plays like the character study type noirs that came out in the seventies, in a good way. Pitch perfect performances abound with Casey Affleck as his troubled little brother, Willem Dafoe as a small town gangster and Woody Harrelson as a violent, hillbilly sociopath. This is such a different film than what typically comes out these days with a cast like that, it’s well worth a sit down to watch.

There it is, not a huge week compared to some I’ve had, but all the films were good so I’ll take it. OUT OF THE FURNACE is really sticking with me, two days later. Definitely one I’ll spin again at some point and will recommend.

This is probably my last until Christmas, so have a happy one doing whatever you do or don’t do around the holiday you may or may not recognize. To quote Paul F. Tompkins;

“Don’t get drunk and fight each other.”