It’s that time of the week, MOVIE UPDATE TIME! Actually, I don’t have a time of week, I just do these whenever I get five titles. Is that working for everyone? I think people still read this. It’s a good time to post this, on a Wednesday. A weird mix in this one, as per usual.
076 02-28 The Ribald Tales of Canterbury (1985) 2/5
Back in 1972, Pasolini did a sexy version of THE CANTERBURY TALES as part of his TRILOGY OF LIFE, so you would think there would of been dozens of porn versions ripping it off. And there may be, but this is the one that I watched. This one is most notable as being one of the last adult features shot on 35mm film for the theaters, and watching it, that’s about it. The production value is all there, and the non-sex acting is all decent enough. The main problem is that by this point, the video era was in full swing so there is just too many drawn out sex scenes to keep the movie interesting. Vinegar Syndromes DVD is a good one though, and the director Bud Lee’s commentary is actually better than the movie. (Also, this Criterion version of the Trilogy of Life is great!)
077 03-01 MasterChef Junior Season 3 (2015) 3/5
Despite my tendency to avoid anything with children on TV, I think this one might be the best of the MasterChef programs since it forces the judges to act like human beings instead of total assholes. As an added bonus, you get the freak show of watching kids cook things you have never heard of so that you can fully realize your failure at 40 years old. So yeah, for a competition kick off cooking show, CHOPPED is still the best, but this one would be the close second.
078 03-01 The 3rd Canadian Screen Awards (2015) 2/5
For all the movies I watch, you would think I would have a pretty good handle on my countries films. NOPE! I never heard of most of the films featured, and they all mostly looked annoying and in French so I’ll probably never see them. I watched this due to SCTV favourite Andrea Martin hosting, and she was great other than completely disappearing from the broadcast after the introduction. They really pumped out the awards, this sucker wrapped up in two hours, and had bonker winners like POMPEII winning for having been a Canadian produced film (?!?) that earned 100 million at the box office. CRAZY PANTS!
079 03-02 Port of New York (1949) 2/5
This one was a police procedural crime flick featuring Yul Brynner (with hair!) as a drug king-pin, and follows the federal agents trying to roust him. Everything is here for a good movie, it just never really kicks off like it should so it ends up being a bit plodding in the pacing. Yul is great though, but it’s not worth seeking out.
080 03-03 She-Wolf of London (1946) 2/5
I had totally missed that this was in my big Universal Monsters set, mainly because I had never seen it before! Sadly, there’s no monster in sight. Instead it a gaslighting mystery that isn’t the worst thing you’ll ever see, just an uninspired one. Especially if you’re looking for a She-wolf!
Those Canadian awards were really desperate. There was two given out for Television Drama, one for Best Drama, and one for Most Popular Drama. they should bring this stuff to the Academy awards. since Doogie was making such a big deal out of American Sniper earning 600 million, it would of been fun for Guardians Of The Galaxy to win Best Picture for making a billion or whatever.
That’s it for now. Like and share if you like this dumb blog, though admittedly, this one isn’t the most entertain entry.