Movie A Day! 383-389 – White Guys In Peril

Another short week. Well, short based on my usual standards. I’m still playing around with my PONO player (LOVING IT) and staying on top of the holiday stuff. I don’t go big on holidays, but there always seems to be some little, dumb stuff to do and it all takes time. I still have to wrap presents. I’ll get to it one night. I hope. Blurgh.

On with the movies. I seemed to have a “White Guys in Peril” thing going this week, only one of them was really good. As fate has it, I watched the good one first.

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383 10-07 Dallas Buyers Club (2013) 4/5
Finally got around to seeing this one, and I don’t have much to say about it. Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto are as good as everyone says they are in it, and they manage to tell the story straight forwardly instead of trying to hammer you over the head with the emotional stuff like most films of this type. For a film dealing with AIDS, that’s a rare thing. I give it a recommend.

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384 10-08 Night Monster (1942) 3/5
Another loopy “Old Dark House” style mystery/horror from Universal. A paraplegic rich guy and his crazy sister have invited a bunch of Doctors over who tried to save his limbs after some accident, and they start getting knocked off by some mystical creature from folklore. The doctors get knocked off, not the rich guys limbs. Like I said, it’s loopy, but well done with a neat mix of science and hoodoo to the whodunnit aspects to keep you interested. Sadly, Bela Lugosi is completely wasted in the role of “Butler”, but thankfully a swami is able to “will” a skeleton holding a chest of jewels into existence, WITH THIS MIND!

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385 10-09 Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964) 5/5
I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t watch this one at Christmas. You’d think it would be corny, but I’m constantly entertained by Santa Claus, and how much of a total asshole he is in this. Fun stuff, and every person currently employed in the field of CGI should watch this one as a masterclass in restraint in animation. Sure it’s due to a low budget, but the puppets in this display about a billion times the personality that the majority of CGI characters with their 10 trillion strands of independently moving hair have.

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386 10-11 Zatoichi At Large (1972) 4/5
Another week, and Zatoichi. This one has Zatoichi stumbling upon a pregnant woman who has just been robbed, and taking charge of delivering her newborn baby to her husband’s village when she dies in childbirth as an excuse for Zatoichi to get mixed up in Yakuza subplots. At this point, Zatoichi as a character is pretty much reviled by all, so there’s a constant sense of dread that really ups the plots and performances. So yeah, I’m still loving this series.

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387 10-11 Eric Andre Show Season 2 (2013) 4/5
Breezed through these 10 episodes. It helps that they’re less than fifteen minutes each, but more importantly they continue to be deliriously hilarious. Even when bits flop (and a bunch do), it’s still dead on funny. Episode 10 has got to be one of the strangest, most demented twelve minutes of TV to have aired.

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388 10-12 Captain Phillips (2013) 2.5/5
Tom Hanks. As soon as you see Tom Hanks in a movie now, you know it going to be the type of film that tries to push you emotional to be a bit weepy. Tom Hanks though typically is really good and makes good films. This one, based on a true story about a cargo ship that is attacked by Somali pirates and the title Captain kidnapped for ransom, fits the bill of a “typical Tom Hanks” film. the problem with it is, the pirates are more interesting than the white guys on the ship, and Captain Phillips is such a fucking idiot making lousy choices that you never really care if he gets saved or not.

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389 10-14 Lone Survivor (2013) 2.5/5
This is a pretty typical modern day war film, in that they try to hit you over the head with the “ra ra BAND OF BROS!” bullshit before showing you the horrors of combat in an attempt to squeeze false sympathies from you. It can work (as it did in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN), it doesn’t work here. The actors are game, but director Peter Berg (BATTLESHIP) can’t handle the subtlety required, so despite it being a true story, you never really give a shit. That said, the combat bits, basically the last three quarters of the film, are pretty good and pretty gory so you at least stay interested, just not invested.

Some of these posters kill me. That CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, spoiler alert, but his tale of survival is nothing to write home about. In fact, you could argue that he was inept and the whole thing was his fault. The weirdest thing with that poster though, is you can’t help but think “Oh dear, black people on my boat!” I should dock this one another star, but I wont. This was also a rare week where I didn’t watch a single adult film. No naked penis or boobs in sight. I’ll have to double up next week!

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