Movie A Day!: 377-382 – “What’s Your Favourite Grammy Memory?”

As predicted, this week was a little shorter. Evenings seemed to get away from me, both with family stuff, x-mas stuff, and my new PONO player arriving! What’s PONO? It’s a iPod basically, but designed for playing high rez music. I tested it by playing the high rez album and swapping between it and a vinyl copy. There was no difference, which means it works! So I believe in Neil Young and the PONO promise. Dumb thing though is loading music is really slow. They’re still in Beta, so hopefully that sorts itself.

Enough jibber jab about a music player you monsters don’t care about, on with the movies you will never watch!

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377 12-01 Zatoichi Meets the One Armed Swordsman (1971) 4/5

This one was another great one. Zatoichi gets mixed up with the legendary One-Armed Swordsman after unfortunately named Yu Wang kills a bunch of Shogun Samurai trying to protect some Chinese immigrants in Japan. As I said, it’s pretty great with an uneasy alliance between Zatoichi and Wang made all the worse due to them being unable to speak to each other due to the language barrier. It makes for some natural comedy and intrigue, and the movie is the typical suspenseful burn that manages to match up the typical Samurai Zatoichi stuff with the more flamboyant (and kind of corny) Kung-Fu that Yu Wang is known for. It gets a solid recommend.

378 12-03 Christmas in Rockefeller Center (2014) 2/5
12-05 A Grammy Christmas (2014) 1/5
Since dad passed away, I’m getting sucked into watching all the shitty Christmas shows. Rockefeller’s excuse was the lighting of a Christmas tree. It get’s two stars due to have Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga sing an actual Christmas song in a proper way. The rest was garbage. The Grammy one was total garbage, featuring a bunch of assholes who can only sing with autotune, and some British cunt named Sam something who flat out can not sing even with autotune, singing songs having nothing to do with Christmas. I FUCKING HATE THIS TIME OF YEAR!

379 12-05 Beat The Devil (1953) 2.5/5
Humphrey Bogart is back with John Huston with this one, and it’s simply okay. Which is a shame since the team-up has generated absolute classics like THE MALTESE FALCON, TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE and THE AFRICAN QUEEN, all films that should be seen if you want an understanding of movies, period. This one though just doesn’t work. Bogart plays a guy hired by some crooks (featuring Peter Lorre) to play as an inbetween so they can get into Africa and exploit uranium rights. It’s oddly played more for laughs, and the tone just never quite works.

380 12-06 The Mummy’s Tomb (1942) 2.5/5
Another sequel in the Universal Monster series, this one takes place thirty years after the last film, and finds the mummy Kharis being sent the states to kill the two goofs from the last movie that desecrated his tomb. It’s as corn ball as it sounds, but Lon Chaney Jr. does as good as anyone can as the Mummy. I knocked it half a star for burning ten minutes of it’s 60 minute run time with clips from the previous film. It also steals a bunch of mob shots of townsfolk with torches from BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. Universal was always cheap, I guess.

381 12-06 Cathouse Fever (1984) 2/5
This is the second feature on Vinegar Syndromes PEEKARAMA disc that also featured PURELY PHYSICAL by the same director, and sadly this one was more of the same. A woman narrates her memories of working in a cathouse, and the result is a series of uninspired sex scenes and bad attempts at comedy. The best thing is the goofy song in the trailer that rips off the Ted Nugent “classic” “Cat Scratch Fever”. So this disc was one of the rare clunkers in the VS catalogue. It was bound to happen when you’re featuring on average 6-7 movies a month.

382 12-06 The Eric Andre Show Season 1 (2012) 4/5
I’ve only become aware of this one recently, and boy do I love it. It’s stupid, and a rip of the superior THE TOM GREEN show, but it’s gloriously stupid and I love this show! If you like Tim & Eric, Tom Green, Jackass and other brilliant stupidity, you should like this.

There it is, another week down. I’m nearly finished my x-mas shopping, so I should hopefully get more movies in next week. I enjoy the giving of Christmas, but man, the shopping is a total ball ache. I couldn’t imagine having to buy for kids. Actually, kids are easier since they’re monsters and will tell you what they want instead of the vague “Oh, anything is fine” that us jerk adults pull with a false modesty. Or is that a Canadian trait? I don’t know, I just find it stressful and usually give up.

“Quitting” is my new, yet old, jam.

The End

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