Right you lucky fiends, more movie reviews of movies you have NO INTEREST IN! I’m doing the big work here, let it stand up to history! A wild bunch this go round. An academy award nominee and a trashy film you can download for free! FEEL THE LOVE!
112 05-05 Roadie (1980) 2.5/5
I was quite excited by this one which is probably why I felt let down. Basic plot is; Meatloaf plays a Texan who’s kind of like “MacGyver” when it comes to fixing electronics, and he gets roped into being a Super-Roadie for a bunch of bands while helping a groupie get to New York so she can loose her virginity to Alice Cooper. So basically this should be an excuse to have a bunch of cool bands showcase songs. And there are cool bands, Blondie and Roy Orbison both make appearances alongside Alice Cooper. The problem is the film is so hell bent on being a wacky comedy that it just annoys the shit out of you. Every musical performance is interrupted by some dumb shenanigans. Then you find out that the groupie is 16 and Meatloaf is in love with her. So yeah, it’s not great.
113 05-09 Bulletproof (1988) 2/5
The problem with being a collector like myself is that you see a 4-movie DVD set that has a movie in it that sounds amazing (“Bamboo Gods & Iron Men”, still not watched) and since the set is only $10, you buy it and watch all the movies in it instead of just the one you bought it for. Which is why i watched “Bulletproof”. This one stars Gary Busey as “Bulletproof” McBain, a tough as nails, ex-army guy who has to go undercover in Mexico to get back a stolen super-tank and save his ex-girlfriend. If you didn’t know it was from 1988, you would think it was a perfect satire of 80’s movies. It has EVERYTHING. A “one-man” super cop who doesn’t follow the rules ala “Lethal Weapon.” Terrible dialogue with bad “Bulletproof” puns and Busey calling everyone a “Butt-Horn”. A flashback to Busey playing the saxophone on the beach while the kidnapped ex-girlfriend comes out of the surf. The villains are a mix of Russian, Cuban and Middle Eastern revolutionaries… it’s INSANE how shit and cliched it is. Wondrously, laugh out loud insane that has you shouting “SERIOUSLY?!?!?” every 10 minutes. So really, it’s a 1.5/5 movie, but due to being so gloriously dumb, I’m giving it a 2/5 since it’s the type of bad movie you force your friends to sit through. (I no longer have movie watching friends. 😦 )
114 05-10 Fleshpot On 42nd Street (1973) 2/5
What, you thought I’d have a week were I didn’t watch some 70’s smut from Vinegar Syndrome? Silly you! This one has the best description ever on their website. “A street whore desperately seeks love and acceptance against the backdrop of the criminal element of early 1970s Times Square.” That really is the picture in a nutshell, except that the “whore”, Dusty, is a real criminal, ripping off guys left and right. She’s best friends with a sad sack transvestite that is really priceless to watch. This one looks like a hardcore porn that had the hardcore cut out of it, and was quite a fun little watch. Sadly, the film elements that VS own are really in rough shape, which is why they are giving it away as a free download! Tips are welcome.
115 05-10 The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013) 4/5
I’m writing the review on this one a couple of days after watching it, and I’m thinking my initial 4/5 might be a little high. Don’t get me wrong, it’s top of the line Scorsese. Brilliantly shot with acting to match, it’s a whirlwind ride with the douche-bags of high finance who are ruining all of our lives that is at times exhilarating and laugh out loud funny. A couple of days later thinking about the picture, I’m wondering “What’s the point?” It’s not like we didn’t know that the mega rich are a bunch of assholes right? I did really like this one though, I’ll have to give it a second spin. This is the first Scorsese film since “Kundun” that I missed seeing in the theaters, so that’s kind of bittersweet.
116 05-10 Angel on Fire (1974) 2.5/5
This is the second feature on the disc featuring the previously reviewed “Altar of Lust”, which was also directed by Roberta Findlay. This one was the better picture. Basic plot is, a total asshole misogynist gets hit by a truck and is forced by Angel #9 to go back to earth as a woman so as to experience what it’s like for a woman to deal with assholes like himself. So it’s kind of a neat idea for a porn since again, it’s coming from a woman’s point of view. Of course, the asshole misogynist on the second go round is played by world class creep Jamie Gillis, so the plot seems like an excuse to show women being degraded instead of being a feminist message on how women should be treated. Ah yes, the good old exploitation days.
117 05-11 Game Change (2012) 3.5/5
This one tells the story about how Sarah Palin got picked to be John McCain’s running mate on his bid for president. It’s a pretty fine film that shows Palin in a surprisingly human light at first before she morphs into the monster we know her now to be. Strong performances by Julianne Moore (If you thought Tina Fey was the best Palin, see Moore as she plays a person, not a caricature), Woody Harrelson and Ed Harris and direction that keep the story moving. Political films always intrigue and depress me, and this one was no different.
There it is, another batch of movie watching. My pick of the week will be “The Wolf of Wall Street.” It delivered, and Scorsese films always charge up my movie battery.
As always, feel free to comment, share, offer suggestions, etc. now that I changed the name, I have more access to my own blog so should be able to reply and interact more. Maybe someone can explain to me how “tags” work and if I should bother using them.